Poems from 2003
© by azure chaos (NathanielR)
Shadows.
It creeps slowly, ever onwards,
In the shadows growing, unseen.
Wrapping around and enveloping,
Taking no prisoners it would seem.
Turning inwards and evolving,
Not how it should have been.
Cursed nature, ever crawling,
Dictating the way things ought to be.
And so I’ll sit in endless silence,
Encased in my own destiny.
Fingers scratching at the door for freedom,
But remaining trapped inside of me.
Looking out, replaying memories.
I turn my head but still I see,
Creeping shadows.
Remind me how it ought to be.
©NateR 6th Oct 03
Sometimes
Sometimes, when I try to hide,
I can’t get away from the me inside.
And I keep going back to the way things were,
Not moving on when there’s no one there.
Sometimes, when the darkness falls,
It all folds in when the pain still calls.
And the nothingness, that fills me there,
It’s hard to recall that someone cares.
Sometimes, when the daylight breaks,
You give it all up, but they all still take.
And there’s nothing left, for you to give
Every day is a day that you fight to live.
©NateR 8th Oct 2003
Under my Skin
Can’t take this original sin
I feel it all burning, burning within.
Fire rolling through my veins,
I know nothings gonna feel the same.
I rub and I scratch, clawing at it,
Hoping for some relief, just a bit.
The itch that doesn’t exist,
Merely irritates my soul, gnaws at it.
Left inside by the pain and suffering,
Surviving on instinct, never giving in.
Dangerous, eloquent, a mistake for good intent.
The monster under my skin.
©NateR 10-10-03
For Shawn!
Sand through parted fingers,
You slip away.
Silently into the night,
Spreading your wings, taking flight.
You soar, free of restraint,
Peaceful and bright.
You lay your heart wide open,
And golden raindrops fall.
Skyward angel flying,
To hear the silent call.
©NateR14/10/03 (for Shawn’s passing)
My Friend
My friend you guide me, through night in the land.
I feel you with me, as you caress my hand.
I hold you here, deep in the heart of me.
Knowing what you gave will always be a part of me.
The dark will call and you will chase it away.
The sky will fall and you will help me prevail.
Into the light and over the hill,
Giving me magic, saving my will.
©NateR 21-10-2003
Alone
Here I sit as the hands of time and the winds have changed, feeling cold again,
All alone, am I, in this foreign space, with a heart of glass in this nothing place.
In between, a door with no in or out and the wall around is closed about.
No breath of air to take in or share, no other way and no one to catch me there.
Second thoughts, tinged with tales of doubt and a path leads on but never out.
Sadness creeps as unseen pain, crashing down trying to refrain.
Nothingness with slow envelopment, open flood gates with no more relevance.
Angels walk and angels fear as the tortured soul sheds it silent tears.
In the stillness calls to an empty face of the one long gone and never replaced.
©NateR 1-11-2003
So This Is Me!
So how am I,
If I can’t believe?
If the world swirls around,
And wont let me be?
So what am I,
If I can’t be free?
If the life I live
Is trapped inside of me?
So where am I,
If I can’t see?
If the things inside,
Turn it round on me?
So who am I,
If the door is closed?
If the lock is bust
And no one knows?
So this is me!
If I am here,
If world goes by
And I don’t disappear?
©NateR 7-11-03
My Bloom
The unopened flower, untouched by the sun,
Reaching up for nothingness,
Waiting for sunlight to come.
Spring leaps forward as light rays appear
Fear not sweet flower, summer is here.
No droplets of water caressing the skin,
Thirst of a lifetime,
Looking for something to drink from within.
Daylight has broken, cloudy skies from clear,
Fear not sweet flower, and so lands a tear.
An unloved flower untended with care,
Hungry for contact,
Someone with room to share.
A heart filled yet empty reaches out with love
Fear not sweet flower, be caressed with a velvet glove.
Tentative and wary, with a shiver and a shake,
Lonely flower flounders,
Apprehension easing with a each breath i take.
Dark and thirst abated, care with a gentle touch,
Petals open, the flower blooming for that special look.
©NateR 28-11-03
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