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DownLow

Page history last edited by PBworks 13 years, 3 months ago

Disclaimer: I don’t own the Xmen, they belong to marvel comics, I do however own the mystery angel (drags him off to play with). No money was made from writing this fic.


Down Low

 

Rain hammered at the windowpane, staring out into the bleak weather, looking but not really seeing, my breath slowly misting up the glass. I thought about all the things that had happened in recent months.

 

I had found love, with such an intensity I had never thought it would be possible. Then just when I had grown used to it, started to accept it and relax… it was snatched away; pulled from under me like a rug from under my feet. It left me flailing, my arms reaching out to grab onto something… anything. The only thing that helped me through was the alcohol. And so I’d drank, the warm burn in my stomach a poor substitute for the fire that had warmed my heart for so long.

 

And so I had drunk myself under, until I lost everything and reached the bottom of my pit with every intention of staying there. I was off the team and if I wasn’t on the team then I was out of a home, and it didn’t even bother me. I had packed a few things and left the rest, not because I thought I might return, but because I didn’t want to be weighed down with them.

 

I left the mansion and wandered, aimlessly. I had no destination in mind and it didn’t matter. My life had been bad before, but never quite this bad and never by my own stubborn hand. I tried to end it… to put myself out of my misery, like any good owner would do for his suffering pet. I had no owner so I had to do it myself.

 

That was when it happened. I looked up and saw an angel. Golden hair and wings, piercing blue eyes that saw deep down into my murky, filthy soul. An aura surrounded him and it was dazzling to me. I thought I was hallucinating at first, then I thought he’d come to take me to heaven… but that didn’t sit right… I would surely be going in the other direction. I hadn’t atoned for all the wrong that I’d done. Then I remembered, I don’t believe in Heaven or Hell, so it probably wasn’t an angel at all. Perhaps a mutant, like Warren, or more likely, just a hallucination. A result of blood loss, as my mind started to shut down.

 

I was feeling fuzzy, like I was wrapped in a thick lair of fluff, but I was cold, so very cold. He had scooped me up in his arms and I’d felt like I was flying for the brief moments before I slipped into unconsciousness.

 

I had awoke sometime later, hours or days I didn’t know, didn’t ask and the information wasn’t offered. My wrists taped up covering stitching. I wasn’t in a hospital though and that confused me. My angel appeared to be real, although the wings were never seen again so I still wasn’t sure what he was, he could have just been a man and the wings had been a figment of a fevered mind. He was kind and patient, he fed me and helped me bathe. He would sit and read to me even as I had retreated into my mind, I had barely said a word.

 

I pressed my hand against the cold glass, trying to draw myself out of my memories only to be pulled right back in.

 

The days and weeks had slipped by since my rescuer had found me and brought me back to some sense of life. He was gentle and sweet, with a smile that was infectious, but he wasn’t my love. Slowly, he had drawn things out of me, had pieced together a picture of why I had ended up where I was.

 

Then one day the doorbell had rang, I had stayed sitting in front of the fire, trying to rid myself of the cold that burned inside me. I was alive, no longer drowning in myself, but still I ached for my one, my love. I’d heard the ruff voice from behind me and froze, I couldn’t be sure I hadn’t fallen asleep and I was dreaming. He spoke again more clearly and moving towards me, I heard him call my name.

 

“Remy…Darlin’?” Ruff with some emotion, he’d tried to gentle it I could tell.

 

Those two words seemed to unplug the tight clamp I’d had on my tears, releasing them and letting them fall down my cheeks in a silent river. I looked up and he was in front of me. Reaching up with my arms to him, was he even real? The vivid red scars on my wrists taunted me and reminded me of my demon and I pulled them back hoping, if he was real, he hadn’t seen. I had been too slow, he captured my forearms in his strong hands, his grasp deceptively gentle but I couldn’t pull away. He turned them to look at the scars. I looked up at him beseechingly and saw tears, he was crying. Scum that I was, lowest of low, I had reduced this infinitely strong and sturdy man to tears. That thought rocked me inside.

 

“Why?” Was all he was able to choke out.

 

“Y’ left Remy.” I replied, my voice small and almost unrecognisable.

 

He shook his head, “No darlin’, I never left ya, I was on a top secret mission. I was comin’ back. Told ya I was comin’ back.”

 

I shook my head, confusion clear on my face, “Y’ said y’ had t’ go… t’ get away. Remy heard y’.”

 

“Oh god.” I heard him utter. He shook his head, emphatically. “No darlin’. I… Christ, I thought ya understood. Didn’t Cyke tell ya?”

 

And then I was in his arms, sobbing, both of us…our breaths hitching as grief and pain wracked our bodies for the almost lost. When we both calmed he’d kissed the insides of my wrists lovingly.

 

“Never gonna leave ya, darlin’.” Logan proclaimed sincerely. “Love ya more than life itself.”

 

“Moi aussi, cher…Je t’aime aussi.” I replied eagerly, burying my face in his neck and inhaling his scent, my hands balled into fists clutching his shirt tight afraid he would fade away.

 

That was how I had come to be stood there, looking out of the window on that miserable day, my world had been built, knocked down to the foundations and rebuilt all over again; stronger and longer lasting. I had a certainty in my heart now. I knew before he touched me that my love was behind me, I could see his reflection in the window, a smile pulled at my lips as his arms had come around my waist and he pressed his cheek to my back. We’d never returned to the mansion, instead we’d gone to live in Logan’s apartment in the city. I covered his hands with mine and sighed in happiness.

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