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Readjusting Resolutions

Page history last edited by nate 11 years, 5 months ago

 

Disclaimer: I don’t own Star Trek: Voyager or the characters/plot, no money has or will be made by this fic.

A/N: written for a prompt provided by sexycazzy on my own lj for consci_fan_mo, she wanted to see an AU where it was Tom instead of Captain Janeway who was stranded with Chakotay. Further A/N at the end.


Readjusting Resolutions

 

 

Tom was getting edgy.  Being stranded with Chakotay should have been like a dream come true for him, and for the most part it was going great.  Chakotay had first built him a bath tub out of wood, then he’d built a head board for them both because he noticed Tom liked to sit in bed and read, and then he’d come looking for him and helped him during the plasma storm.  But Tom wasn’t designed to be on the ground for long periods.  He was a pilot and after a year of piloting Voyager it was a hell of a blow to suddenly have that taken away.  Sure, he was left with a shuttle but it was only capable of warp 4 and it wasn’t like he could just take it out for a fly every few days, they needed to conserve the energy reserves and they had no idea if doing that would affect the atmosphere’s neutralising affect on the virus.

 

Being stuck on the planet was fast becoming a nightmare.  It was made worse by the fact that Chakotay took to it so readily; he was like a kid in a candy store, his humour and energy seemed boundless. It was like he’d woke up a different man from that stasis chamber.   Tom did his best following the Doctor and Captain’s instructions to work on finding out about the virus the insect bite had caused, but he wasn’t a scientist, it wasn’t his area of expertise and it was just frustrating him when he came up empty every time. 

 

Then the storm had come and Chakotay had held him under the table while the world came crashing down around their ears.  Even though it was devastating as the house shook and things fell from shelves and counter tops, it was encouraging to be so close to that strong body he’d admired for so long. 

 

When the storm had passed he and Chakotay had worked side-by-side clearing away the debris and damage. It had been good having something to focus on so that he didn’t have to think.  Of course, his muscles didn’t think so later in the day.

 

One minute Tom was sitting there rubbing his sore muscles and the next strong hands were settling on his shoulders and taking over the massaging.   Tom closed his eyes and enjoyed the touch.  He felt a connection between them, one he’d felt many times over the last year but they’d refused to acknowledge.  Right at that minute he wanted nothing more than those hands to slide down his chest, to turn him and… he cut off his train of thought as Chakotay’s hands stilled.  He was almost ready to fall at Chakotay’s feet.    When Chakotay’s hands stopped but he didn’t act on the building tension, Tom stood intent on taking matters into his own hands.  However, he took one look at Chakotay and lost his nerve, instead wishing him goodnight and heading hastily for his bed.

 

After tossing and turning in bed for a long time, Tom left his sleeping pod to find Chakotay still sitting up, working on creating a small piece of slate art.

 

“We have to talk about this,” Tom said as he sat down.

 

“Alright,” Chakotay acknowledged and set down the carving he’d been working on.

 

“I think we need to define some parameters,” Tom told him nervously, hoping he’d read things right, “about us.”

 

“I’m not sure I can define parameters,” Chakotay replied softly.  He went on to tell Tom a supposedly ancient story about an angry warrior who was captured by a neighbouring tribe led by a woman warrior.  When she called on him to join them, he swore to himself that he would stay by her side doing all he could to lighten her burden and from that day on her needs would come first. Slowly, that was when the angry warrior began to know peace.

 

Tom tried to make sense of what all this meant and why Chakotay was even telling him.  It was obvious the angry warrior was Chakotay and that the female warrior was Kathryn.  Did that mean that Chakotay was telling him that he was submissive and devoted to Kathryn, that there therefore couldn’t be anything between him and Tom?

 

“So, you’re saying you and I can’t get involved because you’ve vowed yourself to the Captain?” Tom asked uncertainly, trying not to sound jealous or petulant.

 

“That’s not what I’m saying at all, Tom.”

 

He contemplated that a moment, and wondered if that meant Chakotay was trying to tell him that he was submissive and needed the other person, in this case Tom, to take the lead.

 

“Well, I’m sorry but I’ve news for you, Chakotay, I’m not exactly the dominant type,” he said with a wry smirk.

 

Chakotay ducked his head slightly with a smile. “I actually figured that out. I told you the story because I wanted you to understand my background.  I found peace in submission, Tom, but I also learnt a lot about myself and I learnt that there’s peace to be found in dominance also. It’s possible to be both dominant and submissive, it usually varies with mood or partner.”

 

Tom tensed visibly at the last comment.

 

“That’s not to say Kathryn and I were ever more than friends, because things never moved into a personal relationship and I can honestly say I was happy with that.”

 

Tom looked down at his hands folded on the table, frowning as he pondered what he’d been told.  The strong hands that had massaged his shoulders earlier that night came to rest over his own hands.  Tom looked at the contrast of the bronzed skin against his.  He looked up to see soft brown eyes focused on him intensely. 

 

“I thought I frustrated you beyond belief,” Tom said trying to sound flippant.

 

“Tom,” Chakotay said softly, “you’ve spent a long time trying to find a place to belong, trying to find your own peace.  I think I can help you with that. I can’t define parameters between us because that’s something we both have to work out.”

 

Tom didn’t think it would be that easy and, at first, he was right.  His entire life had been spent trying to gain attention and it didn’t matter if it was usually negative.  As a consequence, he didn’t follow rules that they’d agreed on deliberately to get a reaction from Chakotay.  It took around a week for Chakotay to grow tired of the conflict and sit Tom down to explain to him that if he followed the rules he would still get attention, but the good kind that they could both enjoy. 

 

Dubiously, Tom gave it a try and was pleasantly surprised when he discovered the fun they could have when he behaved.   Chakotay had a good sense of humour and he was much more relaxed than he had ever been before, either on Voyager or in the Maquis.  They relaxed into a routine and Tom began to feel not only wanted but needed. 

 

Every so often Chakotay would present him with something he’d made:  an intricately carved and delicate wooden thumb ring, a slate carving of a large bird in flight and a wolf prowling below, and a braided leather thong that almost reduced Tom to tears as Chakotay fastened it around his neck and spoke of the symbolism of ownership.  Of course, the intimacy between them, the sex, was incredible, like nothing he’d ever experienced before.

 

After several weeks, Tom could easily say that for the first time in his life he felt content. 

 

Then, around six weeks after the conversation that changed everything between them, everything fell apart as their comm. badges crackled to life with the Captain’s voice. Voyager was coming back for the: they had a cure for the virus. They had just under a day left.  Tom felt like the bottom had fallen out of his world, once back on board Chakotay would go back to being Captain Janeway’s right hand man and he’d go back to being the clown that lived to buck the rules and frustrate the commander. 

 

They packed up their belongings and technology in relative silence.  Everything ready, Tom put his uniform back on and took the leather braid off from around his neck.  With only an hour or so to go before they were due to be beamed back onto the ship, he found himself a quiet place away from their fabricated house to sit and mourn what he’d found there.  Chakotay had been right, he’d found peace in submission; in sitting at Chakotay’s feet with the large man’s hand running through his hair; of doing things to please him and following his rules.  He regretted that it would all be for nothing but at the same time he would be able to fly again, it was bittersweet.

 

“There you are,” Chakotay’s soft voice cut into Tom’s musings.

 

He looked up at the other man, the sadness clear in his bright blue eyes. “So this is it,” he said softly. “It’s ok, I understand, you made your vow and you have to stand by it.”  Tom stood, the ring and leather braid clasped tight in his hand, the signs of ownership and devotion that had grounded him. 

 

Chakotay looked at him, a confused frown on his face.  “I’m afraid you’ve lost me, Tom.”

 

“Yeah, I guess I have,” he murmured as he made to move passed him.

 

A strong hand caught around his arm and stopped him from leaving the clearing.

 

“You think I’m giving you up? That this is a ‘it’s been great but now we’re back to our real life’ conversation?” Chakotay asked softly, his own hurt and sadness reflected in his voice.

 

“Isn’t it?” Tom asked, his tone belligerent.  “You’ll return to her side, doing her every biding. And we’ll go back to being, what, friends? I’m not sure I can do that; we’ll be back at square one.  You made your vow, it’s fine.”

 

“No, no it’s not fine, and it’s also not why I came looking for you.  Do you want it to be over?”

 

“What? No, how can you ask that after everything we’ve been through here?”

 

“Tom, you’re mine, when I put that braid around your neck I made a promise to <I>you</I>. A vow to take care of and protect you, to guide you and ensure your well being at all times… to love you.”

 

Tom looked at him speechless for the moment then brought his hand up to show Chakotay the contents. “I won’t be able to wear these on duty: regulations.”

 

Chakotay nodded. “I know, that’s why I made you this,” he offered him a small leather pouch held on two longer strips of braided leather.  “You can place the ring and your collar in the pouch and secure it around your neck under your uniform.  If anyone asks you can tell them it’s for protection that I gave you it to keep you safe from the trouble that always seems to find you.”

 

He reached out his empty hand and ran it over the leather reverantly. “So, our relationship will be kept hidden… a secret?” he asked, afraid to hear the answer, to find that Chakotay would be embarrassed of others knowing about him.

 

“No,” Chakotay replied definitively.  He cupped Tom’s cheek and leaned in to touch their foreheads together. “I’m proud to have you as mine, you’re brave and smart and you have a good heart, Tom Paris. I want everyone on Voyager to know that you belong to me.”

 

Tom blinked, dumbfounded at the possessive words and emotion behind them. “Yeah?”

 

Chakotay nodded. “That’s provided that you want everyone to know?”

 

“You’re kidding, right? You’re only the biggest catch on the ship, I’d be crazy not to let everyone know I’m with you,” Tom replied brightly.

 

He was gratified to see Chakotay smile almost shyly at that comment. Tom took the pouch from Chakotay’s steady hand and placed the ring and braided collar inside before handing it back to the other man.  “Care to do the honours?” he offered as he turned his back and bared his neck to him.

 

~Fin~


 

 

A/N2: The conversation regarding defining parameters including the story of the angry warrior is taken directly from the episode.

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