Disclaimer: Neither BtVS, Angel or NCIS belong to me. No offence is intended and no money has or will be made.

 

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Shattered

 

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Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 4 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

 

Chapter 1

 

 

Xander stirred, he felt oddly detached from his body: like he was surrounded in cotton wool. His brown eyes blinked open and he looked up blearily. There was a man hovering over him: green eyes and messy dark brown hair, he had a worried look on his face but as Xan looked at him his lips turned up in an almost goofy smile.

 

“Hey there, good of you to join us,” the soft American accent told him; Xander couldn’t place it, perhaps it was a mixture. Had he really been in the US?

 

“Hey,” he replied, his voice sounding weak and scratchy, he barely recognised it.

 

His eyes fell tiredly shut for a moment before he forced them back open. “Where am I?” he asked, rather belatedly realising that it must be some kind of hospital, but not knowing where.

 

“Hospital, you’re safe now,” the gentle concerned voice told him.

 

Safe? Had he not been safe before? He couldn’t remember what had happened.

 

“Hospital where?” Xander asked quietly as his eyelids once again felt too heavy to keep open.

 

A little frown furrowed the handsome brow of the man that was peering down at him. “You don’t know or don’t remember? You’re in Washington DC.”

 

“I don’t know if I don’t remember or if I didn’t know to start with,” Xan tells him tiredly.

 

The man looks as if he understands just before Xan’s eyelids win again. How the hell did he get to DC, the last he remembered…actually he wasn’t sure what he last remembered.

 

“Who are you?” he asked, curiously. He was fairly sure he’d remember the handsome brunette if he’d known him before…fairly sure! He pushed his eyes open again.

 

“Special Agent Tony DiNozzo.” There was no flash of hurt as the other man told him his name so Xan concluded they hadn’t met before.

 

“FBI?” Xan asked, confused when he processed the whole name.

 

“NCIS,” Special Agent DiNozzo told him.

 

“Oh crap I didn’t go and join the Navy did I? That would so suck,” Xan groaned, closing his eyes, desperately trying to remember.

 

There was a soft amused chuckle, “No.”

 

“How can you be so sure?” Xan cracked a single eye to look up at him.

 

“We ran your prints, if you’d joined up it would have come up. We don’t know who you are. You got a name?”

 

The ex-scoobie rolled his eyes. “Duh, course I do.”

 

The amused chuckle became an all out laugh, it was rich and warming, Xander wanted to keep hearing it. Tony DiNozzo was both easy on the eyes and the ears.

 

“Care to share?” the Federal Agent asked with a teasing tone.

 

“Guess?” Xan cracked a small smile.

 

That laugh came again. “Gimme a clue, is it something normal or something out there?”

 

Xander’s eyes dropped closed and he took several shallow breaths. “My head hurts,” he told him in a pained whisper.

 

“You’re already maxed out on pain meds,” Tony told him sympathetically.

 

Was that a hand running through his hair, he couldn’t make his eyes open to look up. “Normal…fairly?”

 

Xander stopped fighting the tug to sleep and let the hand soothe him under, his breathing evening out.

 

“Damn,” Tony said softly, “Gibbs is gonna kill me.” Still, he couldn’t regret it, the boy had obviously been in a lot of pain and doped up to the eyeballs.

 

******

 

“Tony?” Xander asked when he came round again, he felt disorientated again but that one name and face were still in his head.

 

“He had to step out,” another voice said.

 

Xander forced his too heavy eyelids to open and looked up at the man. He was much older than Tony, had silvery hair and the most intense blue eyes. He looked as concerned as Tony had. “Why are you all so handsome?” he asked and then wondered where the question had come from.

 

The lips quirked up in a half smile. “Who’s all?

 

“Feds, well, NCIS Feds anyway, if I’d known you where all that hot before I mighta…well I dunno…stopped by to say hello or something. Is it the Navy thing, or a Marine thing? I can guess I can see it being either and oh my god what the hell am I saying?” Xander’s eyes widened comically in horror at the words that were falling from his lips.

 

“That’ll be all the drugs they’ve got pumping into you,” the man said knowingly, seemingly unbothered by the rambling.

 

Xander tried to lift a hand to pat the side of the smooth looking cheek but the hand was uncooperative…fortunately.

 

“What’s your name, Son?” the man asked.

 

“Xander,” he found the word just fell from his lips where he’d teased Tony with it. He gave a slow blink, lids too heavy to lift back up straight away.

 

“What happened? Am I in trouble?” he asked, not really wanting to know but figuring he should try and find out.

 

“You’re not in trouble,” the voice told him gently. “What do you remember?”

 

Xander’s brow furrowed even with his eyes still closed. A slew of memories flashed through his mind then but they were not ones he could share. Nausea welled up and he almost felt like he actually turned green. The man suddenly had him turned on his side with a bowl waiting. He retched up nothing but bile but it gripped tightly at his stomach and insides and wouldn’t stop like he was trying to throw up his liver.

 

A solid hand rubbed soothingly at his back and the urges started to ease. The man, whose name Xander still didn’t know, helped him lie back down and then wiped gently at his mouth.

 

“The others?” Xander asked, his mouth tasted foul and his voice sounded rougher than ever but he had to know.

 

“You were the only one we found there, the others were all gone. We think they thought you were dead.”

 

“Comforting,” he managed to quip, not really feeling the humour. “There were cages.”

 

“Gone.”

 

Xander tried to shake his head but it came out like more of a jerky rocking motion. Pain, sharp and intense shot through him and he gasped, tears prickling the back of his eyes. “Who’re you?” he asked, trying to focus on something other than what had happened to him…to all of them.

 

“Special Agent Jethro Gibbs,” he introduced himself, he knew he should have done it sooner but there was just something about the kid that threw him off balance. Tony had said the same.

 

“Ok, gotta ask, what’s the difference between an agent and a special agent. And how much did your parents hate you to call you Jethro?” His eyes widened again, “Goddamn brain filter…always fails when it’s needed most.”

 

Jethro just gave a small teasing smile in response though. “You’re pretty fun when you’re stoned, can’t help but wonder what you’re like normally.”

 

“Pretty much the same but with less pain and a slightly better ability to keep my mouth shut…not much…just slightly,” he tried to smile but his lips felt dry and cracked, smiling threatened to split them open and he knew that would hurt.

 

Gibbs chuckled; there was something likeable about the kid. He wasn’t sure how he was going to tell him about his injuries.

 

“How bad is it?” Xander asked suddenly. “People only go from laughing to serious face if there’s something bad.”

 

He hadn’t even realised his face had changed, maybe it hadn’t and the boy was just incredibly perceptive. Not many people have Federal Agents sitting by their bedside waiting for them to wake up.

 

“Pretty bad.”

 

Xander closed his eyes letting the weight settle a moment before forcing them open once more. “That’s gotta be the vaguest answer ever. Tell me, please?” He wasn’t above begging, no sirree.

 

“Ruptured Spleen, bruised kidney, broken leg, concussion…”

 

He tried to feel the parts that were meant to be damaged but couldn’t get past the fog of the drugs. Jethro had trailed off and he looked up at him. He felt like he would choke on the way his throat seemed to close up at the look in those blue eyes. “What?”

 

“Your back was broken in two places. They’re fairly sure you’ll never walk again.”

 

Dully, Xander could feel the hand that was wrapped around his, he thought he might be squeezing the fingers back tightly but he couldn’t be sure. Evil had taken his eye, but a shaman had given him that back accidentally, now he’d lost his legs and there’d be no such opportunity. He’d be more of a liability than ever. He was out of the fight permanently it would seem.

 

“Oh,” was all he could say.

 

“We need to know who they are, Xander, anything you can remember about them could help us catch them,” Gibbs gently prodded.

 

His eyes felt hot and his face felt wet. He was crying, he knew he was but he just couldn’t bring himself to try and push the tears away.

 

“You can’t touch them,” Xan told him quietly. “No one can, they’re a law to themselves.”

 

“Xander, I assure you, we will find them. They killed one of my Marines, I have every intention of making them pay.”

 

The brunette shook his head. “You don’t understand.”

 

“Then explain it to me?” Gibbs urged.

 

He shook his head and closed his eyes as the tears ran down his face. There was silence for a long time and then a soft cloth gently cleaning his face.

 

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to call the Scoobies and let them know what had happened. They’d be worried about him, but if he called then they’d come running and he wasn’t sure he could handle that right now. Besides, would they even know he was missing?

 

“I was in Texas,” he said softly, “I don’t know how they got me from there to DC. These are powerful people, Special Agent Gibbs; you can’t get to them. I don’t think you should try…they can make you disappear…you and all your friends. Make it like you never existed. You should let it go…they’ll have already moved on.”

 

“How can you say that?” Gibbs asked him angrily, “After what they’ve done to you? Still could do?”

 

“They’ve already done it, they can’t do any worse. Even if they find out I’m still alive, I’m not a threat to them anymore.” That was what had got him in this mess in the first place.

 

“And all the other’s that they still have?”

 

Xander squeezed his eyes closed, tried to pretend they weren’t his responsibility, like he didn’t have to do something to try and save them. “You’ll get them killed if you try.”

 

Gibbs was frustrated, how could the guy just lie there and act like he didn’t care. He could actually do something to help find those animals and he was refusing. “You don’t seem to understand, you’re our best chance…” he huffed.

 

“And you don’t seem to understand,” Xander opened his eyes and looked up at him. “There’s nothing you can do.”

 

Jethro gasped, the boy’s eyes were glowing green, what the hell?

 

“What?” Xander asked as he took in the man in front of him who was now looking at him like he’d grown an extra head. Maybe he had?

 

“Your eyes, they were brown…now they’re…” Jethro used to be a Marine and had then spent 15 years with NCIS, he’d seen some scary shit in his time, but that just took the biscuit.

 

“Fuck,” he said succinctly as he squeezed them shut and turned his head away. “I can’t help you Special Agent Gibbs, I won’t have people’s deaths hanging over my head.”

 

Gibbs frowned deeply but decided that now wasn’t the time to push it. “We’ll talk about this again,” he said determinedly. “You got anyone you need contacting to let them know where you are?”

 

Xander thought about it, he really did. Ever since they’d closed the Hellmouth, the Scoobies had slowly drifted apart. They’d grown up in a battlezone and their friendships were forged in a war…one they didn’t need to fight alone anymore. They each had their own special projects after: Willow had Kennedy; Buffy and Faith took it on themselves to train the new slayers; Giles discovered that Dawn was a mini-me and watcher-in-training; Xander took himself off to find all the other new slayers out there; and, Spike…he was gone. They drifted, each of them committing verbally to keeping in touch, but a couple of times a month or less was the reality. They got together at Christmas, that had been the last big thing and that had been seven months ago…or there abouts. They probably didn’t even know he was missing.

 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been held while they tested and pushed him. He didn’t know everything they had done, but he felt different. And Gibbs had looked at him, had said his eyes were different and Xander knew what they’d done. They’d made him into something else, something no longer entirely human. He couldn’t handle the way he’d be treated, he’d be useless to them now and pity was one thing he’d had enough of when he’d lost his eye.

 

When the boy turned to look at him again, the green eyes were gone and those sad chocolate brown eyes were back in their place. Gibbs wondered if he’d imagined it all.

 

“There’s no one,” Xander told him.

 

Gibbs studied him a moment before nodding. He didn’t know if he believed him or not, or if he was running from something…someone. Hell after what had happened to him, he really couldn’t blame him.

 

“Get some rest, if you need something shout, we’ve got someone on your door just in case,” Jethro told him, his hand resting on the warm muscular arm.

 

Xander resisted the urge to snort, if they wanted to get at him they could, but they really didn’t need to now. They’d already had him.

 

*******

 

Xander swam towards wakefulness, it was like swimming through tar, and he ached from the mental effort. Finally his eyes fluttered open and without turning his head he could see that the chair beside his bed was occupied. A familiar handsome face with messy hair was down-turned reading a book. His eyes though looked like they were closed. He took a moment just to study him.

 

He’d been surprised that he’d fallen asleep the minute that Gibbs had shut the door, he’d been convinced that he was just going to lay there with the whole mess playing over and over in his head until he went crazy.

 

“It helps if you try reading with your eyes open,” Xander said with amusement.

 

The head looked up, eyes open, and his lips pulled up in a wide smile. “You’re awake…again?”

 

He was slightly taken back by the genuine pleasure in the man’s face and voice. “Nope, just thought I’d talk in my sleep…how’m I doing?”

 

“Pretty good,” Tony said with a grin, “I’d give you an eight.”

 

“Only an eight?” Xander pouted.

 

“Oh god, don’t do that. I’m powerless against that,” Tony’s face looked full of fake fear. “Ok… a nine, but I refuse to go higher, I’ve gotta leave room for improvement.”

 

He couldn’t hold the pout and smiled.

 

Tony laughed. “You’re bad,” he said as he wagged a finger at him.

 

“I try.”

 

Silence fell for a few long minutes and only the sound of the clock on the wall ticking could be heard. Xander became all too aware of it; each tick sounding like someone was banging a door in his head. His eyes captured Tony’s and he could hear something else, slightly faster than the ticking of the clock and more…thuddy. Between each thud was a rushing sound. And then the whoosh of air like a strong breeze. His own breathing sped up as he started to panic in realisation of what he was hearing: Tony’s heart beat, the blood rushing through his veins and his steady breathing.

 

Tony’s eyes widened as panicked eyes met his: wide in fear and now a vivid green in colour. His breathing was speeding up, hyperventilating and he was whimpering. Ordinarily, he would have run screaming but there was something about the young man’s fear that pulled him in and before he knew it he was gently stroking his hair and holding his hand firmly.

 

“Loud,” Xander managed to get out with a whimper. He was fighting hard to get his breathing under control. Tony’s touch grounding him.

 

He didn’t know how to handle this, thought his head would explode from the pain of each thump echoing in his ears. But despite the little skip and jump that Tony’s heart had done when he’d looked at him, it was even and steady. Instead of trying to block it out he focused on it, concentrating on letting it lull him, imagining that his ear was pressed against the solid chest.

 

His breathing started to even out and the tension in his body drained away as the panic subsided, but still everything was so loud. He could hear conversations outside as clearly as if he were taking part in them, the sound of traffic rushing by outside through triple-glazed windows, the sound of someone else’s heart monitor. He whimpered again.

 

Tony didn’t know what else to do except offer his strength and comfort. The grip on his hand was strong and he couldn’t help but wince slightly. The grip relaxed and the other man’s breathing calmed. He looked down at him, the younger man had tears running down his face and it just about broke his heart to see.

 

“Sorry,” Xander told him, not really sure why he was apologising, but it felt like he should.

 

“No need to be,” Tony soothed, his hand still stroking the long brown curls. “You wanna tell me what that was?” he asked.

 

Pained eyes opened, still green but slightly less vivid. “They did something to me,” Xan told him, unsure what else to say if he was asked to elaborate.

 

“No shit?” Tony snorted as he used his heel to hook around the leg of the chair and pull it closer. He sat back down without losing contact.

 

Xan gave a tiny smile and fell asleep.

 

---

Chapter 2

 

 

It was a whole week before Xander woke up again. Their case had stalled and was looking like it might be doomed to becoming one of their few cold cases. Tony didn’t like that idea and Gibbs liked it even less. It had taken Tony hours to pluck up the courage to tell Gibbs what had happened with their victim. Jethro’s reaction had surprised him as he’d given a heavy sigh and rubbed a hand over his face. Then he’d told him that he’d seen the eyes the day before. Neither of them could work out what it was caused by and they had wondered if Abby might shed some light.

 

They’d taken it in turns to wait by Xander’s bed for him to come round again and when he didn’t wake up after more than a day they started to worry. Tests were done, an MRI, CT scan, blood tests, they all came back as clear. There was no physiological reason for him to be unconscious. Tony had theorised that it could be to do with the eye thing but neither of them had told the doctors about that.

 

It was on the fourth day of Xander’s unconsciousness that Tony had finally broached the subject with Abby. She’d been fascinated, wanted to meet him right away and started pulling out all kinds of books and journals. She couldn’t find a theory that would fit though and they were no nearer to working it out.

 

“Good of you to join us,” Tony said with a teasing smirk when brown eyes fluttered open and met his. “Thought maybe you didn’t want to enjoy my sparkling personality.”

 

Xander snorted, then his brow creased and he asked, “How long?”

 

“A week. We were worried. The Docs couldn’t find anything to cause it.”

 

“They wouldn’t,” Xan murmured. He ached in places he’d forgotten existed, arching his upper back as much as he could, he stretched.

 

“Why wouldn’t they?” Tony asked with a frown.

 

“They just wouldn’t,” for the first time since he’d woke up and seen Tony’s face he could move his hand and his eyes didn’t feel like they were being pulled down by weights. He reached up to scratch his nose, but Tony’s hand caught his and stopped him.

 

“What?”

 

“Tubes, go gently,” Tony told him softly.

 

The finger that had been poised to scratch turned into a gently exploring hand and he felt the tube that had been put in through his nose. “Ok, the thought of that is gross, I bet I just look really attractive like this.”

 

Tony chuckled. “You look fine. They needed to make sure you were getting enough nutrients, the last thing you need is to be malnourished on top of everything else.”

 

“Agent Gibbs told me…I ache everywhere but I can’t feel my legs.”

 

The NCIS Agent looked sad and he wrapped his hand carefully around the one with tubes in. “They don’t think it looks good. The boss, Gibbs, said you don’t have anyone to call?”

 

Xander shook his head. “I’m a bit nomadic,” he told him. “Don’t really have a base. I’ve got funds though. I guess I’m gonna need them with the medical bills.”

 

“Don’t worry about that right now.”

 

“Wasn’t going to,” Xander told him with a weak smile. He winced as his lip split and he tasted a little blood. “My mouth is so dry,” he protested.

 

“I’ll see if I can get you some ice chips or something,” Tony told him and left the room.

 

Xander stared at the ceiling, then at the wall, then turned his head to look out of the window. He turned his hearing to outside his room and was surprised when he could almost tune it in to where he wanted. So he was right, the coma was mystically induced. He heard the approaching footsteps and the steady heartbeat he was surprised to recognise, just before the door opened.

 

True to his word, Tony had a cup of ice chips in his hand and picked a couple out. He held them against Xander’s lips and he dutifully opened to take them in. The ex-Scoobie couldn’t help but hum in bliss as the blessed ice melted.

 

“Marry me?” he asked Tony.

 

Tony snorted. “My partner would object.”

 

“Damn, still, can’t blame a guy for trying,” Xan smiled.

 

“The case is stalled, our evidence didn’t give us much and the boss said you didn’t want to talk. I can understand that you’re scared…”

 

Xander shook his head. “I’m not scared of what they can do to me, they’ve already done it.”

 

Tony frowned.

 

“He didn’t tell you everything I said, I take it?”

 

“I don’t know, probably not,” Tony told him as he studied the other man.

 

“They’re dangerous and I’m not talking mob level, I’m talking CIA level. You can’t get involved in this or they’ll chew you up and there’s no guarantee that they’ll spit you out. For everyone’s sake you need to leave it alone.”

 

“Xander, these guys broke your bones and left you for dead…”

 

“And they’ll do it to more if I talk. As long as it’s left alone they’ll be fine. They only did this to me because I tried to escape,” Xan told him, willing him to understand.

 

“But…”

 

“No buts, Tony, see this?” he pointed to his face, “resolve face, I’m not budging.”

 

“Gibbs is gonna be so pissed,” Tony muttered.

 

“Pissed about what, DiNozzo?” the voice asked from behind Tony.

 

Tony jumped and spun round. “Hey, Boss.”

 

Gibbs stepped into the room carrying a styrofoam cup filled with hot coffee. Xander breathed deeply, the scent of it tickling his senses and stimulating his olfactory.

 

“Oh that smells good,” Xander murmured.

 

“Someone want to answer my question?” Gibbs pushed.

 

“I just told Agent DiNozzo that I can’t give you any information, I’m sorry, I just can’t have that on my conscience,” Xander told him, sparing Tony.

 

As if the scent of the coffee wasn’t enough he could now smell beyond that; his nose twitched slightly and he looked from one to the other and had to bite back a smile. Oh that was typical. He sighed.

 

“You’re just going to let them get away with it and keep on doing what they’re doing?” Gibbs asked, ignoring the once again vivid green gaze.

 

“What you don’t seem to understand is that you can’t stop them. If I gave you names and addresses with enough evidence to arrest them and put them behind bars for life, it wouldn’t be enough. Not that I even have that information but if I did all it would do is get you and those you love,” his gaze shifted to Tony and back, “killed. But first they’d torture you until you were begging for it to end. When I say you can’t stop them…you really can’t stop them.”

 

“And if you end up charged with perverting the course of justice?” Gibbs pinned him with his steely gaze.

 

“Then so be it. I’m not changing my mind and I’ve been intimidated by far scarier men than you Special Agent Gibbs,” Xander told him as he didn’t even flinch from the glare.

 

Tony was impressed, it took real balls to stand up to his Boss like that, he should know because he couldn’t do it. He felt kind of sorry for the younger man, he was pretty much caught between a rock and a hard place. He was getting the idea though that when Xander said these were seriously bad people that couldn’t be touched, he wasn’t exaggerating and he wondered how high up this went for it to have that effect on him. When it came down to it, what Xander was saying was that he’d rather protect two men he’d only just met than see them try to obtain justice for him. It touched a soft spot deep inside him.

 

“Boss, maybe we should let Xander get some rest. He’s been through a lot,” Tony said, giving his lover a pleading look. He rarely let their private life influence work but right now he would use it.

 

Gibbs studied him for a long moment then shifted his eyes back to the young man in the bed, his eyes ringed with black circles and a weary look on his face. He gave a nod. “One of us will be back in the morning,” he told Xander. “Rest.”

 

Tony met Xander’s eyes and gave him a smile. “No more week long naps, ok.”

 

“I’ll do my best,” Xan winked and watched them go.

 

*****

 

“What do you think they did to him?” Tony asked as they headed down in the elevator.

 

“I wish I knew,” Gibbs growled.

 

They’d both been severely affected by the case, it was hardly surprising since they’d been the ones to find Xander’s battered and broken body. They’d both thought he was dead until Tony had found a thready pulse. It had taken two days for him to wake up the first time, but most of that was down to the drugs they’d pumped him full of. He had to be in pain but he hardly complained about it.

 

“Maybe it was some kind of brainwashing?” Tony mused, “Like a cult or something?”

 

“What makes you say that?” Gibbs turned to look at him, sipping at his coffee.

 

DiNozzo shrugged. “How many people do you know would risk their own life to protect people they’d just met… and Feds at that?”

 

“Most people wouldn’t,” Jethro acknowledged.

 

They fell silent, the doors opened and a couple of people got in with them. As the doors slid shut Tony commented, “I get the feeling he’s not like most people.”

 

Gibbs just raised an eyebrow.

 

*****

 

“Knock knock,” said a familiar voice from the door and Xander opened his eyes and looked across at him.

 

“You’re sitting up,” Tony observed with a smile.

 

“I am?” Xander mock-panicked and looked down at himself, “Oh my god, so I am. How’d that happen?”

 

DiNozzo rolled his eyes and pulled a chair over. “The nose tube’s gone too, definite improvements.”

 

“You said it didn’t look that bad?” Xander pouted.

 

“It didn’t,” Tony started to panic at the sight of the pout. “I just meant it’s a good sign…that you’re doing better.”

 

Xan smiled at him. “They took it out this morning, I had to prove I could eat ok before they would agree to remove it. I told them if they didn’t take it out then I’d rip it out myself. Funny how they become agreeable after that.”

 

Tony laughed, “Yeah, funny that.”

 

“So, are you back to try and get me to change my mind?” Xan asked, cutting to the chase.

 

“Nope, I’m here to see how you’re doing and if there’s anything I can bring you,” Tony told him with a smile. He’d spent a good hour the night before arguing with Gibbs over the wisdom of pushing Xander to get him to make a statement against his assailants. In the end, he’d won and the subject would be dropped, for now.

 

“Oh,” he hadn’t expected that reply, “I could use a few things. All my stuff was at my hotel in Texas. I expect they’ll have dumped it by now.”

 

“You want me to make some calls?” DiNozzo offered as he sat back and looked at the young man.

 

“You wouldn’t mind? It’s just… there’s sentimental stuff.”

 

“Not a problem. Just write down where you were staying and I’m gonna need a surname too,” he pointed out.

 

Xander hesitated as he took the pad and pen from Tony.

 

“What’s up?”

 

“Nothing, just…”

 

“You’re not on the FBI’s most wanted list are you?” the Special Agent teased.

 

He snorted, “Yeah, as if. It’s not that. I kinda lied about not having anyone. I have friends, in some fairly high places. With everything that’s happened to me I’d rather drop off the grid. I don’t want to be a burden to them…”

 

“Xander, if you’re their friend then they’re not going to care about your injuries, they’re just going to want to know you’re safe. You won’t be a burden to them…”

 

Xander cut him off mid-sentence, “But I will. You don’t know them; don’t know what they do. I’m no use to them now and I’d rather not see their pity. Believe me, I’ve had it before and I don’t want it again. It’s best if they think I’m dead,” he told him.

 

Tony took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I don’t know what to say.”

 

“You don’t have to say anything. I’m just asking for you to tread lightly, leave no trail back here,” Xan requested softly.

 

“I’ll see what I can do,” Tony told him, “But I can’t promise anything.”

 

Xander nodded.

 

“So, how are you feeling?” DiNozzo asked, relaxing back in the chair.

 

“The top guy and his crew have been round.” He lifted up his hospital gown and showed the rigid torso splint that he had on.

 

“Nice,” Tony smirked.

 

“Sexy isn’t it? Think I’ll get lucky in it?” Xan chuckled and reached stiffly for the orange juice that sat on the table.

 

“Without a doubt,” Tony said with a chuckle. “I’d give you my number any time.”

 

Xander snorted then looked at him realising he wasn’t completely joking. He took a long gulp of the juice as his cheeks heated slightly; he knew he had to look a complete mess right now.

 

“If you want I can get you some more attractive bed wear, some toiletries and stuff?”

 

He nodded and scribbled on the pad what he wanted and where he’d been staying. He wrote at the top the full name the room was booked under. At the bottom, he wrote in bold letters ‘twinkies’.

 

“You said they’d done something to you? I take it you have a clue, with the eyes?” Tony asked.

 

Xander looked down at his hands as he fiddled with the pen. “Yeah, but… it’s pretty unbelievable stuff, so…”

 

“More unbelievable than brown eyes suddenly glowing green and you being apparently able to hear a gnat fart at fifty feet?”

 

“Well when you put like that,” he smirked. “I’ll do a deal with you, bring me chocolate and I’ll tell you about it.”

 

“Sounds like a deal,” Tony said as he hopped up from his seat and snagged the notepad back. He snorted at the last word and headed out the door.

 

*****

 

Tony had been gone for almost half an hour and Xander had got bored waiting. He started to flip through the channels on the TV. He didn’t like to think too far ahead. The doctors had told him that the next few months would be hell, well he’d lived on hell and as far as he was concerned the worst thing would be spending all that time in hospital. He was used to doing things by himself, on his own schedule, and even having his meal times and choices dictated to him was grating on him.

 

The sneaking thoughts about what would happen after he got out of the hospital kept creeping in though. How could he go from wandering hunter to wheelchair bound? Sure he had savings but what the hell was he going to do with his life now? He’d always thought that with his lifestyle he’d get injured at some point, or killed outright. It wasn’t the end of the world, he knew that, but it was the end of the life he’d been living. And now he had to actually start planning for the future, he was actually going to have one rather than being six feet under before 30. That was a bit of a shock… he’d never thought about a pension or anything like that. It was scary stuff.

 

His hand kept flipping the channels, not really stopping on one long enough to get more than a passing gist of the programme subject. He wasn’t paying it any attention.

 

“Wow, you assimilate information at a formidable speed, and there’s me with a photographic memory…we could be one hell of team,” Tony teased as he walked in, kicked the door shut and set down a bag of shopping.

 

Xander blinked and looked at him rather dazedly. “I was zoning,” he admitted, slightly embarrassed.

 

Tony nodded seriously. “Sometimes it’s the best space to be in.”

 

He laughed and flipped the TV off, then rubbed his hands together. “So, whaddidya get me?”

 

“Yeesh, you’re like a kid that never got Christmas presents.”

 

Xan never replied, just raised his eyebrows.

 

“Please tell me I didn’t just put my foot in it?” Tony asked, rather desperately.

 

“There were presents, sorta…just not always from the people who were meant to give them.” His mind went to Willow and he felt a little guilty for wanting to drop out of her life, but it wasn’t like they even talked much anymore.

 

Tony looked confused.

 

“My best friend would share hers with me, when we got older she started buying me one out of her pocket money because she knew my mom and dad wouldn’t get me anything, they were usually too drunk to remember it was Christmas.”

 

“Well, I’ll just be taking my foot out of my mouth,” Tony said slightly chagrined.

 

Xan waved a hand as if batting the worry away. “Don’t worry about it, I’m so over it. I’m actually a fairly well-adjusted big boy now.” He smirked.

 

“I can see that,” Tony teased.

 

“So again I say…whaddidya get me?” Xan chirped and would have bounced if he’d been able to.

 

Tony pulled out a cellophane packet containing a pair of short pyjamas in blue and grey. “Approval or no? They said I could take ‘em back,”

 

“They’re good, better than this,” he said as he tugged at the gown.

 

“I got a bigger size on account of the splint and to make it easier getting it on and off and the shorts have a tie waist so they shouldn’t slip down.”

 

“Excellent,” he said already trying to get the gown off.

 

“Eager to get naked with me already?” Tony joked.

 

“It’s the hair, I have a thing about dark messy hair,” he smirked, thinking of his crush on Angel.

 

“Hey, this look takes a lot of effort to perfect.”

 

“I just bet it does,” Xan smiled innocently as Tony finally got the hint and reached around to undo the ties on the gown for him. “Now who’s trying to get me naked, does Gibbs know, cause he’s so not the sorta guy I wanna be pissing off.”

 

Tony squeaked and took a step back as if his fingers were burnt, eyeing Xan worriedly.

 

Xan sighed and rolled his eyes. “Relax, I was teasing.”

 

“Teasing, right. How did you know Gibbs and I…”

 

“I could smell it.”

 

“Oh,” Tony said as the gown finally came away and he set about opening the pyjama set. “That part of the eye glowing thing?”

 

“All part of the upgrade package, yeah,” Xan confirmed but didn’t elaborate.

 

Tony shook out the pyjama top, it looked like it could pass for a T-shirt and Xan was glad it didn’t look too pyjama-ry. “I got a spare set. I’ll take it home and wash it for you,” Tony told him as he pulled it over Xander’s head. “Arms through.”

 

“Yes, Dad,” Xan laughed and did as he was told. “You do this for all your paralysed victims?”

 

“Only the hot ones,” Tony grinned back.

 

“Yeah, I’m getting that. I’ll get a nurse to help with the shorts, if that’s ok. I don’t think I’m ready for that level of commitment.”

 

“Gasp,” Tony said with fake drama, “you’re not commitment phobic are you because I’m in this to the grand sum of twenty-six bucks”

 

Xander laughed. “When you get my stuff sorted, I’ll pay you back, promise.”

 

“I could collect in kind,” Tony said and waggled his eyebrows.

 

“And Gibbs really would fry my liver.”

 

“True… but not before he’d had mine.”

 

They both laughed and Xan reached for his juice as his dry throat made him cough.

 

“Ugh everything hurts too much,” he complained. “I almost wish I was still high on morphine.”

 

“They lowered your dose?” Tony asked as he unpacked toiletries onto the table along with a little bag to put them all in.

 

“Yeah, said they didn’t want me going all coma-boy again,” he rolled his eyes.

 

“Deodorant, toothbrush and toothpaste,” Tony announced as he placed the items on the table like they were the greatest gift ever given. “I took a guess on the scent.”

 

“I’ll trust your judgement. You look like a guy who knows how to take care of himself,” he winked. The flirtation between them continuing and neither one knowing how serious it actually was or if it was just for kicks.

 

“Shaving stuff,” he produced them, “you looked like a wet shave kinda guy, but tell me if I’m wrong.”

 

“You’re not wrong, although I think the nurses must have been doing that as I’m all smooth.”

 

“Actually, I think it might have been Gibbs while you were unconscious.”

 

“Good job he doesn’t know about your secret designs on me then,” Xan teased not quite sure how he felt about the older intense man having been the one to keep him clean-shaven.

 

“Not exactly a secret, I put a bulletin out over the hospital radio. They’re all taking bets on how long it’ll be before you give in to me,” Tony grinned.

 

“Oh I’ll have ten bucks on that,” Xan said excitedly.

 

“Yeah?” Tony asked curiously.

 

Xander just rolled his eyes and laughed.

 

“I would have got you a book but I wasn’t sure what you’d be into, so I held off on that. I did, however, remember…” he paused for effect then held up a handful of twinkis.

 

“Oh I am so having your children,” Xander declared as he made grabby hands at the cream-filled sponge bars. “Come to Xander.”

 

Tony gave him one and then stashed the rest in the bedside locker. “Go easy on them, ok, don’t want you making yourself sick.”

 

“Sure thing, boss,” Xan said absently as he pulled open the wrapper.

 

It was Tony’s turn to roll his eyes and he started to put the bits and pieces in the toiletry bag.

 

“Thanks, Tony,” he murmured around a mouthful of spongy-creamy-goodness, “I’d have been lost without you, I mean that.”

 

Tony waved it away. “Wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to do it.” He didn’t know what it was about Xander Harris, but he couldn’t help but be drawn to him. He was fun even in the face of such tragedy, and he had an aura around him… he wondered if he was spending too much time around Abby with thoughts like that.

 

“So, the upgrade package?”

 

Xan held up his free hand to stop him while he savoured his twinkie.

 

Tony thought it was possible that the sounds of pleasure the other man was making might well make him embarrass himself in a way he hadn’t done since high school.

 

Xander was stalling, he knew he was, but he had the perfect excuse while he was eating his twinkie. He still hadn’t really worked out what he was going to tell Tony, how much of the truth if any. The last thing he needed was to be locked up in a straight-jacket on the psych ward. He knew that Gibbs would probably do that, but he wasn’t sure about Tony. They had a rapport going between them and the man had already realised that something not-normal was happening with him. How much more far-fetched could it get?

 

As he crumpled the wrapper up for the bin, Tony’s cell started to go off. The older man groaned and looked at the display. “Gibbs,” he told Xander and flipped it open. “Hey, Boss?”

 

Tony left pretty quickly after the short phone call; Xander knew what had been said but he didn’t let on, simply smiled politely and waved the other man away. They were working a case and it wasn’t his. He was somewhat happy for that. His craving satisfied and having drunk enough juice to drown a fish, Xander had closed his eyes and let sleep rush up to catch him.

---

Chapter 3

 

 

“Hi,” a husky female voice said from the doorway.

 

Xander looked over and smiled. Raven-black hair in high pigtails, smoky eye make up, blood red lipstick and hazel eyes, a black studded collar encircling her neck. She was tall for a girl but then as his eyes moved down he saw that she was wearing platform boots: black with lots of buckles. She was pretty, for a Goth.

 

“Hi, are you lost?” Xan asked.

 

“It depends, hospitals get me a little flustered, are you Xander?” she asked worrying her lower lip slightly.

 

“I am, I guess you’re not lost after all, to what do I owe the pleasure, Miss…”

 

“Sciuto, Abby,” she said with a bright smile and made her way into the room. She dropped a black rucksack to the side.

 

“Well, Miss Sciuto, Abby…what can I do for you?” he asked with a smile.

 

“I work with Tony, he asked me to stop by. They got caught up on a case and he was worried that you would be all…worried, because he hadn’t been in. So I asked if he wanted me to call in and he asked if I would and could I drop some things off for you, so here I am,” she babbled at him.

 

“Here you are,” he found himself grinning at her. “Why don’t you sit down?”

 

She flashed him a happy smile and perched on the chair carefully so that her skirt didn’t ride up. Her face took on a serious frown and she asked, “How are you doing?”

 

“I’m doing ok,” he said with a smile, wondering how convincing it was. He had been worried about Tony, worried that he’d got hurt or that he’d just been full of shit. But apparently the guy was genuine, really did want to be a friend to him, of sorts. Xander tried to imagine the woman in front of him working for an agency like NCIS and couldn’t picture it.

 

“It’s taking a bit of getting used to,” he told her, gesturing to his legs. “But it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever had to deal with.

 

Abby gave him a sad concerned look. “I can’t even imagine,” she told him sympathetically.

 

She looked at him for a minute and then jumped into action, a cute smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “I brought you some books,” she told him, “Tony didn’t know what you’d like to read so I thought I’d lend you a couple of mine, see if you like… if not we’ll get you something else.” She rambled as she dug in the rucksack for the books she’d brought. “I hope you haven’t read them,” she said with a little pout as she held them out to him.

 

“The Dresden Files?” he asked.

 

She nodded enthusiastically. “It’s about a Wizard who runs a supernatural detective agency,” she gushed.

 

Xander couldn’t help but laugh, thinking of Angel and Wes. “Thanks, I’ll check them out.”

 

She smiled at him so brightly it lifted his mood massively.

 

“So, Tony and Gibbs tell me you have this glowing eyes thing going on. I’m guessing you’re not a wizard, but that would be cool, so what happened? I told them my theories but they thought I was a little crazy. Well, Gibbs did, but he’s so…Gibbs. Tony just flicked my pigtails and indulged me. So, what gives? You can tell me,” she prompted.

 

His eyes scanned her face and saw honest interest and no amount of teasing at all. Of course, she was a Goth so she probably already had a few fair bets on the existence of the supernatural.

 

“Do you believe in vampires,” he asked her as he sipped at his juice.

 

Her ever-smiling lips turn into a pout as she scowls at him. “Is that a dig?” she asked, slightly offended. Tony had told her the guy was nice and she’d been eager to meet him.

 

“No, not at all,” he hurried to reassure her.

 

“I’m not some vampire wannabe,” she told him unhappily.

 

“I never said you were, I just thought you seemed like the sort of person into the Supernatural, don’t be offended.”

 

Her scowl lessened slightly. “I believe in some elements of the supernatural,” she told him. “I’ve never seen a vampire so I won’t believe they exist until I do. I’m a Scientist, I deal in facts.”

 

Xander nodded and reached out with his senses. He’d been practicing a lot over the last few days, since Tony hadn’t come around. “Gunpowder,” he told her.

 

Her gasp told him that his eyes had changed. That was something else he’d figured out, his eyes glowed green when he was using the extra senses.

 

“Wow,” she said and started to move closer to get a better look, “that’s incredible.”

 

He gave her a smile. “The town I grew up in had a lot of supernatural activity. Vampire’s are very real, believe me I’ve known a few. They’re evil soulless creatures, fortunately quite a few are dumb as brushes. That’s beside the point. One time our High School went to the zoo. There was this keeper there who was performing a ritual to try and get the mystical spirit of some Hyenas into himself. It went wrong and a group of us ended up getting hit with them,” he looked at her face and she was rapt.

 

Abby was listening, her chin resting on the heel of her hand as her elbow rested on her knee: whether truth or fantasy, it was one hell of a story.

 

“The spirit was dominant, cruel and had a thing for raw meat… like still oinking,” he said with a shudder.

 

She screwed her face up slightly and made an ew face. Not much grossed Abby out but that pretty much hit the limit.

 

“I was friends with this bunch of people, smart people who knew about this sort of thing. Anyway, long story short they got rid of it. The others that had been affected all forgot everything they’d done. I remembered everything. The animal spirit wasn’t gone; it was just…dormant. The people that took me changed that, tortured me, experimented on me and a bunch of other things that I’m not even sure of. The result of which is that the spirit integrated with my own spirit…or soul I’d guess. Giving me all the benefits of the spirit but I’ve not yet experienced any negatives. And god you probably think I’m a complete fruitcake.”

 

“It’s hard to think that when I’ve seen the eyes,” she said, her face looking thoughtful.

 

Xander reached for his juice once again, hiding behind the glass.

 

“You told Gibbs you wouldn’t help them go after these people. It sounds like they knew what they were doing to you, that they targeted you?” Abby observed.

 

“Yeah. They knew,” he told her bitterly.

 

“Who are they?” She asked him.

 

He debated the wisdom of telling her, the more she knew the more it could bite her on the ass. But she was believing him, or so it seemed and he wanted to give her something that showed trust. “A secret organisation… government funded.”

 

Abby’s eyes widened.

 

“I know you work for a government agency, but…”

 

“No…it’s ok. I believe you, Xander. I’m just…stunned. You read about conspiracy theories and stuff and you think ‘no way’ and then you find out something like this and it’s like…‘way’. I’m sorry they did that to you,” she told him in all sincerity.

 

“Me too. I guess I’m just glad to be alive but I hate feeling so useless. My life is gone because of this. Everything that my life revolved around…now that I have the abilities that would have helped me… I’m unable to use it. I sorta wish they’d killed me, but at the same time I’m glad they didn’t,” Xander confessed.

 

Her face was sad.

 

“You can’t tell Gibbs, he strikes me as the kind of guy who’d try and go after them and believe me, they’d squash him like a bug…him and everyone he holds dear. You, Tony…everyone.”

 

“I won’t tell him.” She gave a little shrug with a small smile pulling at her lips, “he wouldn’t believe me anyway.

 

“Tony wanted to know what they did to me. You think he can handle it? Or will he have me whisked away to psychiatrics?” he asked with a worried smile.

 

“Tony is like, completely freaked out by vampires. You mention they’re real and he’ll totally flip out on you. The other stuff, I really don’t know. He can surprise me sometimes, but then other times…”

 

Xander sighed and leaned his head back against his pillow. “He’s going to ask again and I still don’t know what to say to him.”

 

“You should tell him the truth. He’s too good at spotting liars,” she explained.

 

He huffed and closed his eyes. “Then the truth it’ll have to be. Been nice knowin’ ya,” he joked.

 

“He’ll be fine, I’m sure of it.”

 

“Hope so. I kinda like having him around,” Xander said with a grin in her direction.

 

“Yeah, he grows on you…like fungi,” she said brightly.

 

*****

 

“Hey,” Tony’s voice said from the doorway.

 

“Hey back at ya,” Xander replied without opening his eyes. He was busy, listening to Tony’s comforting heartbeat.

 

“I’m sorry,” the other man persisted, stepping further into the room and closing the door. The background noises dulled and a smile tugged at Xander’s lips.

 

“You solve the case?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Catch the bad guys?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Xander could almost hear the frown on the NCIS Agent’s face.

 

“Then you’re forgiven,” Xan said brightly and finally opened his eyes to look at him.

 

Tony didn’t even jump or gasp at the sight of glowing green eyes this time. He did, however, stare unashamed. “You were listening for me?”

 

“Nah, not specifically. I was doing some meditative exercises that I remembered a friend of mine used to do. Thanks for getting Abby to stop by, I’d been getting worried.”

 

“Was it ok?” Tony asked as he finally sat down.

 

“Yeah, she’s fun. I like her. Tell her she can come around any time. Oh and here,” Xander paused as he dug in his locker for the two books she’d lent him. “I was really bored and finished them. Can you ask if she’ll send me some more? I actually really enjoyed them.”

 

DiNozzo looked down at the books he’d been given, feeling just a little jealous of the impact Abby seemed to have made.

 

“Man, I missed you. I mean, she’s good company but I swore never to be around someone who could babble more than me for very long. And besides, half the time I can’t understand a word of it,” Xander told him.

 

A fond smile tugged at Tony’s lips as he looked at him. “Yeah, that’s our Abs. She’s one of a kind.”

 

Xander chuckled and closed his eyes to dial down his senses. When he opened his eyes again they were back to brown. He looked at Tony with a smile.

 

“How’ve you been?”

 

“Kidney’s doing good, Doc’s impressed with the speed of my recovery,” Xander told him.

 

“That’s good, but not exactly what I asked,” Tony raised an eyebrow.

 

Xander sighed and looked over to the other side of the bed, in the corner out of Tony’s vision. Tony had to move to see what he was look at.

 

“Oh, Xander,” he said sympathetically as he took in the wheelchair.

 

“I knew it was coming, but still…” his eyes stung as the tears welled up. He hadn’t lied about the meditation, but he’d actually been using it as a distraction.

 

“I can imagine,” Tony scooted his chair up close and took hold of his hand.

 

“I didn’t even want to sit in it,” Xander blinked sad brown eyes at him and the tears broke free and fell down his cheeks. “It’s not fair, Tony. What the hell am I supposed to do now?” his breath hitched.

 

“It doesn’t need to be the end of the world…”

 

“No, I know…but it’s the end of my previous life. Now I’ve gotta try and make a new one that incorporates a large chunk of metal. I can’t even use it properly by myself yet. They said it’ll take months. The broken leg has to heal first,” Xan’s voice was thick with emotion as he looked blearily at Tony, clutching the hand wrapped around his. “And all I have is you and you’re just sorta doing your job, it’s not fair of me to expect you to help me pick up the pieces…you didn’t sign on for that.”

 

Tony moved to sit carefully on the edge of the bed and then gently pulled Xander in for a hug. “I’m not here because of my job, Xan,” he told him as he held him, one hand running through the back of the wavy brown locks. “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

He knew it was wrong to get so involved with a victim of one of their investigations, but he couldn’t help himself. Besides, the case had been shelved much to Gibbs’ disgust. Xander just pulled him in and Tony found himself liking him more and more. So far, he hadn’t seen anything that wasn’t to like. If he didn’t have Gibbs then he might have tried to make more out of it, but he did so he didn’t even contemplate it. More than anything he just wanted to be this boy’s friend.

 

Xander sobbed into the solid warm body. Tony was the only one who actually touched him with any sort of compassion. Sure the doctors, nurses and physical therapists touched him plenty but it was all clinical. He wrapped his arms around the other man and held on as he tried to pull himself together but all he kept thinking about was being stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, useless.

 

The sobs finally subsided and Xander pulled back slightly, scrubbing at his face with one hand while the other held on to Tony’s shirt.

 

“Thanks…and sorry. I messed your shirt up,” he gave a soft chuckle at the large damp patch that now sat on Tony’s shoulder.

 

Tony just gave a shrug and a soft smile. “You’ll be ok, I promise.” He reached up and brushed hair from where it was hanging in Xander’s eyes.

 

“Shouldn’t make promises that you don’t know you can keep,” Xander admonished.

 

“Anything you need, Xander, I’ll do my best to help you with it.”

 

Xander nodded and rested his cheek against Tony’s shoulder for a moment as he collected himself back together. “I know there are worse things that can happen to a person, I should be grateful, but I can’t stand the thought of being so damn useless.”

 

“You won’t be. You’ll just have to find your niche all over again. It could be fun, you can experiment and get away with it,” Tony said mischievously.

 

Xander snorted. “Yeah, I guess. I mean who’s gonna get pissed at a cripple? I think my practical joke days are over though, I can’t be sneaky enough.”

 

Tony laughed.

 

“Does Gibbs know about you coming to see me,” he asked curiously as he finally released the other man and sat back, still holding his hand.

 

“Yeah, I told him. No point in trying to keep anything from that man. He was cool. Actually he said “good”.” Tony said as he imitated Gibbs not half as well as Abby could.

 

Xander smiled at him. “That’s good, I’m glad. I might have said some inappropriate things to him when I was under the influence…before my prolonged sleep.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

He blushed slightly and smiled. “Yeah.”

 

“Cool.”

 

They both laughed.

 

“Thanks,” Xander told him again, seriously.

 

“Anytime.”

 

They sat a moment, looking at each other and then Tony smirked. “So, you were gonna tell me about the upgrade.”

 

Xander groaned and closed his eyes a moment. “Are you sure you really want me to tell you? Because I gotta say, if I hadn’t been there then I’d think I was nuts.”

 

“Government conspiracy? Oh, are you like the incredible hulk, was it gamma-radiation?”

 

Xander opened his eyes and stared at him. “Ok, and there was me thinking that I was the comic book geek.” He rolled his brown eyes.

 

Tony laughed.

 

“What do you know about the supernatural?” Xander asked as he reached into his locker for a couple of twinkies and offered one to Tony.

 

“That according to Gibbs there’s no such thing,” he answered easily as he accepted the packet and started in on it’s contents.

 

“And what do you think?”

 

Tony shrugged. “Just because I’ve not seen it doesn’t mean it’s not there. People believe in a God they’ve never seen so it’s not so farfetched to believe in things like psychics and the paranormal.”

 

“What about magic?” Xander asked as he paused in opening his twinkie wrapper.

 

DiNozzo paused and tilted his head to the side thoughtfully. “Not sure. Think most stage magicians use all smoke and mirrors crap. But, there are people who devote their lives to things like Wicca so… I’m not sure whether there’s anything in that.”

 

“There is, I’ve seen it,” Xan told him as he finally accessed his twinkie and took a bite.

 

“You’ve seen magic? Like real, honest to goodness, magic?” Tony asked, his voice a mixture of disbelief and awe.

 

“There are many kinds. Dark magics, which can actually sometimes be used for good, good magic, which can only ever be used for good or it just won’t work. There’s also Chaos magic and earth magic… some I’ve never even heard of,” he said and gave a half shrug.

 

“If you tell Abby she’ll want to have your babies,” Tony joked.

 

“I already told her.” At the flash of hurt on Tony’s face he quickly continued, “I wanted to sound her out… she seemed pretty open to weird stuff and I wanted her opinion on how you’d take it. I didn’t want to scare you away.”

 

Tony had looked away but the honest statement made him look back up. “And what did she say?”

 

“She said I should tell you the truth,” Xan told him and studied his half eaten cake.

 

Tony nodded. “So that’s what you’re doing now.” It wasn’t a question.

 

“Yeah, or trying to,” Xander rolled his eyes and the other man couldn’t help but laugh.

 

“So, magic’s real?” Tony confirmed.

 

Xander nodded at him. “Yup.”

 

“Like give me an example.”

 

“Ok. When we were sixteen, this chaos mage did a spell that turned us all into the Halloween costumes we were wearing. I became a soldier, my best friend became a ghost and my other friend…well, she was dressed as an eighteenth century lady and thought cars were evil demons,” Xan told him the first one that came to mind.

 

Tony started laughing. “That’s so cool.”

 

Xander shook his head looking deadly serious.

 

“Not cool?” Tony hazarded a guess.

 

“So not. When you imagine that some kids were dressed as demons and vampires.”

 

A shudder ran down Tony’s back and Xan remembered what Abby had told him about Tony’s nightmares.

 

“It was pretty crazy, but luckily I was able to protect my friends until one of our grown up friends, who knew all about magic and stuff, could get the mage to reverse the spell. It was actually hell for a night.”

 

“Sounds like it. How come there’s never been this big thing in the press then, I mean a town goes to hell for a night and no one notices?”

 

“Where I used to live, they became very good at repressing all the weird stuff that happened almost ever day,” Xander explained.

 

“So, magic. Is that what happened…to you…the upgrade, I mean,” Tony hedged back to the original subject.

 

“Sort of,” Xander sighed at the inevitable. “We went on a school trip to the zoo. One of the keepers was trying to perform a ritual to harness what was meant to be a powerful animal spirit from one of the groups of animals. But a few guys and me got in the way and ended up with the spirits instead. I got the strongest one. It was pretty bad, I became a total bad ass, and well, normally I’m just the class clown. The grown-up friend who stopped Halloween-hell managed to sort this mess out too. The spirits went back to where they belonged and everyone forgot what they’d done.”

 

“Except you?” Tony guessed.

 

Xander nodded. “I still remembered it in such detail and I could feel it in the back of my mind. Oh, it was caged or asleep, but it was still there.”

 

“But something happened to release it from the cage? Are you going to go all bad ass again?” Tony asked, slightly worried but trying not to show it. He’d hate to have to lock Xander up. He had no idea why he was believing the story, but Xander had no reason to lie and he’d witnessed the effects for himself.

 

“No,” Xander said as he shook his head and then explained, “It’s not like before. Before it had complete control and I was just a passenger watching as it used my memories and body to do what it liked. This time, what they did, it some how integrated it with me. It’s a part of me now. I get all the benefits but get to keep control. You don’t think I’m insane?”

 

“Oh I totally think you’re crazy, but not for this,” Tony grinned.

 

Xander rolled his eyes. “Gee, thanks, you’re a true friend.”

 

“What exactly are all the benefits? The hearing I get, the sense of smell?”

 

“Yeah, enhanced hearing, smell, eyesight and strength: all really handy things. Except for the fact that I can’t do anything with them anymore,” Xander told him with a sigh.

 

“What exactly did you used to do before?” Tony asked with a frown.

 

“I sort of…helped with solving and sorting out the weird,” Xander hedged.

 

Tony’s frown deepened. “Now you’re lying to me.”

 

“No… not lying, not exactly, just… downplaying perhaps. I think what I’ve told you is enough for you to be digesting for now, you really don’t need to know more.”

 

“There’s more? Of course there is, you already said there was dark magic, which means there’s people out there wielding it. Do you know how to do magic is that what you do?” Tony asked suspiciously.

 

Xander shook his head. “Not really. Magic tends to go wrong around me. I’m just usually its butt-monkey.”

 

Tony snorted. He could tell the other guy was telling the truth. “Not literally, I hope.”

 

It took a moment for Xan to work out what he meant and then his eyes widened. “Hey! No! So no!”

 

The older man was laughing so hard he couldn’t help himself. When it finally died down he was holding his ribs. “Couldn’t help it,” he admitted by way of an apology.

 

Xander pouted at him and looked offended.

 

“Oh come on, not the pout…” Tony looked helpless. “Yeesh, the power of the pout, I bet that thing can stop wars.”

 

The ex-scoobie laughed.

 

“So, we’re cool?” Xander asked worriedly.

 

“Yeah, we’re cool,” Tony told him. “Probably best not to tell Gibbs though. I doubt he’d be so quick to understand.”

 

They were quiet a moment, there was no strain in it, just both of them sitting there thinking: one assimilating, the other acknowledging his relief.

 

“There’s just one thing I’m not clear on,” Tony asked eventually.

 

“Just one?” Xander smirked.

 

“For now… I’m focusing on this one to stop my brain imploding.”

 

Xander barked out a short laugh.

 

“Why did they do it? I mean, what was in it for them to do this to you? I know you’re not going to tell me who they are, and I’m not going to push you. With what you’ve just told me I can hazard a guess and I’m pretty sure you were right to keep us out of it. But, it just doesn’t make sense for them to do that to you and then…leave you for dead.” Tony told him.

 

“I know. I don’t really understand it myself,” Xander was thoughtful a moment and Tony gave him that time. “I guess they were wanting to create a warrior against the supernatural. They beat me because I tried to escape, and I would have taken as many as I could with me, they made an example out of me. It’s possible that they thought they’d failed and that’s why they left me for dead,” he shrugged.

 

“Oh. Well, I guess I can see that,” Tony told him, not really sure what else to say. “What about the dead Marine, the one that started the case off?”

 

The younger man shrugged. “I’m not sure. I doubt he was the only one they disposed of though. Maybe they discovered he was resilient or they’d got the wrong guy. I’m not sure, I don’t know why they’d taken him… could have been because he was a Marine or because he was like me and had been exposed to something in the past.”

 

“Damn.”

 

“Yeah, pretty much.”

---

Chapter 4

 

 

“Well, look at you!” Tony’s voice interrupted his brooding.

 

He looked over at the other man. “Yeah, look at me.” Xander swept his hand through the air to take in the picture he made. He was sat in the wheelchair. The brace keeping his back rigid with his broken leg in its cast stuck out in front of him, propped up on a rest.

 

“Not good?”

 

“Uncomfortable,” Xander told him and pointed at the leg. “It makes the sitting awkward and pulls on the muscles in my back, but they said I need to keep it raised.”

 

“Sucks. They say how long ‘til it comes off?” Tony asked as he sat down on the bed and dropped his black rucksack beside him.

 

“Couple more weeks. They said they have to be careful because I won’t be able to do the physio to build things back up,” he gave a shrug. “Not sure what the big deal is, it’s not like I’m going to be running round on it. I can’t even feel it.”

 

Tony nodded, he looked out of the window a moment and then smiled. “Wanna go for a …roll?”

 

Xander raised an eyebrow.

 

“The sun’s shining, it’s warm and the grounds have some beautiful gardens. It’ll do you good to get out of here. If you’re really good I’ll buy you a burger,” he enticed.

 

“A burger?” Xander’s brown eyes lit up.

 

“Oh yeah, and fries with a milkshake if you want.”

 

“What are we waiting for?” Xander grinned.

 

He was in his pyjamas but he didn’t care as Tony wheeled him out of his room towards the nurses’ station. A quick check that it was ok was greeted with the nurse’s happy smile that she was glad he was getting out of his room.

 

The ride down in the elevator was interesting. He’d never really done that in a sitting position before and it felt strange as it pulled at his insides. As they left the building Xander realised that Tony had been right. It was a beautiful day and he’d almost forgotten it was summer with being stuck in that room for the last few weeks. He breathed deeply and filled his lungs with fresh warm air. It felt so good to be outside.

 

“Should have brought a picnic,” Xander told him with a grin, tilting his head back to look up at the man pushing his wheelchair. “Ew, I can see right up your nose.”

 

Tony laughed and rolled his eyes. “You’ll hurt your neck like that,” he chastised good-naturedly.

 

Xander rolled his eyes and then straightened up. “Yes, Dad,” he teased; it had become a common theme.

 

He couldn’t help but laugh at the young man in the chair. Xander seemed to have a real knack for putting him at ease. They walked mostly in comfortable silence, interspersed with the occasional comment, following a path that took them into the heart of the gardens surrounded by flowers and the scents of summer.

 

They finally reached an unoccupied wooden bench. Tony parked Xander’s chair up and then sat down on the bench, sprawling comfortably with his arms draped along the back and sunglasses covering his eyes.

 

Xander laughed.

 

Tony’s eyebrows flickered up in question. “What?”

 

“You, man, you’re this weird mix of…weirdness. Half the time you’re this big goofball, then you’re like mr.intense cop man and now you’re sprawled their like you should be on the front of GQ or something with your designer shades, Versace suit and shoes that are probably more expensive than my entire wardrobe put together…times ten,” Xander explained as he chuckled, shaking his head in amusement.

 

“Takes a lot of effort to be able to pull this level of stylishness off, I’ll have you know,” DiNozzo boasted.

 

“Oh, I just bet it does.” Xan grinned. “So, tell me about Gibbs. How long you guys been together?”

 

Tony’s smile lit up his face, there was no mistaking the way he felt about his boss. “Just over a year. Wasn’t so easy getting together.”

 

“Yeah, I can imagine that. What with the Marine thing and the cop thing…”

 

“Yeah, but…it’s been worth it.”

 

“What’s he like? I didn’t get to spend much time with him. He seemed to find me quite amusing though as I continually put my foot in it by flirting with him,” Xander flushed at the memory.

 

“Gibbs is very…”

 

“Gibbs?” Xander supplied.

 

The older brunette snorted. “That come from, Abs?”

 

He nodded with a bright smile.

 

“He’s the boss at work… and then at home…he’s the boss there too.”

 

Xander laughed. “I can’t imagine him being anything other than.”

 

Tony snorted. “No, me either.”

 

They talked for what seemed like hours with the sun warming them. Xander enjoyed being away from the scent of antiseptic and even though the gardens weren’t quiet as such, the noise was different than the bustle of the hospital in a way that soothed his frayed nerves. He’d never been a fan of hospitals, actually that was probably an understatement: he loathed them, and if he’d had a choice in the matter he wouldn’t stay in one. Sometimes things were just unavoidable.

 

As promised, Tony bought him a cheeseburger for being a good boy and he inhaled it before being returned to his room. Xander was in decidedly better spirits when he got back there than he had when he’d left.

 

“Right then, so I’ll stop by in a couple of days,” Tony told him as he gathered up his things. “Which reminds me, I made those calls and they said they’d pack your stuff up and courier it. Should be here soon.”

 

“Cool, thanks,” Xan said with a smile. He was actually glad to be back in his bed, it was good to get out of the room but the chair was hellish uncomfortable for his back.

 

*****

 

Xander frowned and his eyes shot open, he turned them towards the man stood in the doorway. Gibbs tensed but didn’t flinch away at the sight of green eyes staring at him.

 

“Hey,” Gibbs said as he stepped in, his face serious.

 

Green eyes dropped to the reddish brown stain on the man’s shirt and he felt a wave of nausea well up. He could tell whom it belonged to.

 

“What happened?” he asked quietly, tears starting to prick the back of his eyes.

 

“Goddamned hard-headed SOB took a bullet for me, completely ignoring the bullet-proof vest I had on and he didn’t,” Jethro told him.

 

It was hard to get air into his lungs and he idly wondered if that was what it would be like trying to breath in a vacuum. “Is he…?” he choked out.

 

Gibbs frowned slightly then understanding dawned and he realised how what he’d said could be implied. “No…god no. He’s fine… well, not fine, he has a bullet stuck in his shoulder, but he’ll be fine. He’s downstairs, he told me he was only staying if I would come up and explain to you what had happened.”

 

Air rushed into his lungs easily and Xander relaxed visibly. “Oh, thank god. I thought. Jesus… I thought I was bad enough but he’s an even bigger trouble magnet.”

 

“Personally, I think he chases it rather than attracting it,” Gibbs’ lips tugged up at one corner.

 

Xander laughed feeling the release of tension. “Are you…how are you doing?”

 

“Me?” Gibbs asked, “I’ll live,” he said and pushed a hand roughly through his silver-grey hair. It was more than could be said for Tony when he got him home. “I should get home, shower and change.” He indicated the bloodstained shirt.

 

Brown once again, Xander’s eyes dropped to the stain and he almost started to panic all over again. He told himself repeatedly that Tony was ok.

 

“Tell him to take care of himself,” Xan told him.

 

Gibbs nodded and replied, “I will. No doubt he’ll stop by before he’s discharged…probably be tomorrow.”

 

Xander nodded. Gibbs looked older than when he’d first met him and it had only been a few weeks; the weight of his lover’s injury was weighing heavily on him. It seemed to be more about what could have been than what was. He guessed from his words that it wasn’t the first time that Tony had been prone to heroics. It was also obvious to see, in that moment before the man turned and left, how much the older man loved Tony.

 

******

 

It had been ten days since Tony had been shot and apart from visiting when he was discharged a couple of days after, Xander had only seen him one other time. It had left him just too much time to think and the conclusions that he’d reached left a bitter taste in his mouth. That was why he’d decided that he had to do this and as a familiar heart beat reached his ears, Xan had to steel himself against what he knew would be hard as hell.

 

“Hey, what’s going on?” Tony asked from the doorway as he took in the chaos of the room. He dropped his backpack to the ground with his good hand; the other was still up in a sling.

 

“I’m being moved to a spinal injury rehab unit,” Xander told him, casting a glance his way in between packing his stuff up into a holdall.

 

“Yeah, that’s great…it is great, right?”

 

Xander flashed him a smile barely missing a beat in his task.

 

“When do you go?” Tony asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

 

“Today.”

 

“Wow, that’s…sudden.” Tony reeled a bit from the suddenness of it. He wasn’t sure what to make of the declaration and move.

 

“Yeah. I got the cast off a couple of days ago,” he pointed to his bare leg. “And the Physical Therapist said that it would be fine for me to be transferred.

 

“You need me to help you with something?” Tony asked as he picked up some odds and ends off the bed.

 

“Nah, it’s ok I’ve got it,” Xan told him.

 

“You know which unit?” DiNozzo asked as he picked up one of the comics he’d brought the other man and flipped through without really looking.

 

“Yeah, it’s out in the ‘burbs, nice though apparently,” he said trying to sound upbeat about it. It was hard when his insides were turning to stone.

 

“Well, I’ll come out and visit. Course, Gibbs will have to drive me out there for a couple of weeks, but that’s no big deal, he likes to drive. Fairly sure you’ll need rescuing from their hard-ass regime,” Tony chuckled.

 

He straightened in his wheel chair and turned to look at Tony. “Actually,” Xander started, the word falling from his mouth and forcing himself to go on before he chickened out completely. “It’s ok. You don’t need to come visit.”

 

Tony looked at him. “What?”

 

“Y’know, it’s been great of you to help me an’ all. I really appreciate it. But you’re absolved of your responsibility. I’ll be fine, you can get back to catching the bad guys.”

 

The older brunette got to his feet, feeling like his insides just dropped through the floor. “Xan…”

 

“Tony, it’s fine. I’m fine. This…I’ll adjust and move on. I appreciate that you felt like you had a job to do but I don’t need you anymore,” Xan told him evenly.

 

Tony opened his mouth to tell him it wasn’t like that, that it wasn’t about the job but a connection he’d felt the minute Xander had first looked at him. But the last words were driven into him like a blade; he wasn’t needed anymore. And in that moment he felt so completely and utterly used. How could he have been so wrong about the man in front of him?

 

“You don’t need me?” he managed to ask through the pain that twisted in his gut.

 

“Nope, I’m told there’s a great team out there and I’ll make a bunch of friends and stuff so…” Xander had to make himself ignore the completely lost and desolate look on the other man’s face. It took every inch of willpower not to take it all back and confess all, but he knew it was all for the best.

 

“Right, ok then, I’ll be going,” Tony told him, already emotionally shutting down. He picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He moved slow, waiting…hoping…that Xander was just teasing him but the look in his eyes told a different story.

 

“Ok, see you, Tony, and thanks again for everything.”

 

Xander watched him leave, focusing on the sound of the receding heartbeat. He could swear he was able to smell the hurt that had been coming off the man. But it was all for the best in the long run, he told himself. So, why did it hurt so damn much?

 

Packing was suddenly the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. It wasn’t like he had that much stuff since the stuff the hotel had shipped him had mostly remained packed up. But what he did have to pack had mostly been brought in by Tony; it all held memories of the last few weeks. How he had not only been someone to support him but someone to laugh with and give him a kick up the ass when it was needed. He was going to miss Tony so much but he knew it was the right thing to do. It had to be.

 

Of course, the problem was that he was now completely lost to the void of what his future actually held. He could pretend all he liked, but when it came down to it, he had no idea where his life was going to go from here. He threw the toiletry bag across the room in frustration and the tears spilled down his cheeks. Xander had never met anyone that he’d clicked with so fast and so completely and he was giving it all up.

 

It had taken Gibbs five minutes to work out that there was something wrong with Tony. He’d returned to the car looking like someone had boiled his puppy alive. Except, Tony didn’t have a puppy. He couldn’t get him to tell him what was going on though and concluded that they must have had some kind of row. He asked about Xander and just received no response at all. He wasn’t worried, he figured with two personalities as similar as they had they were bound to argue sooner or later, he was just surprised it had taken six weeks for it to happen.

 

---

Chapter 4

 

Several days had passed and Jethro had expected one of them to call the other, but the phone call never came. After a full week had past he’d asked Tony if he wanted driving to the hospital to visit. The reply had been a firm no. He started to think that the falling out must have been something spectacular.

 

Jethro watched his boy slowly spiral further and further into a pit of depression. He wouldn’t eat and he hardly slept. He didn’t complain when he had to report to the doctor for a check on his shoulder, in fact he said hardly anything at all at any time. It was like the spark that made him Tony had gone out in him.

 

After two weeks of silence, Gibbs had had enough. He made a stop at the hospital only to be told that Xander had been discharged. He wasn’t ashamed to admit that he abused his badge in order to obtain the name and address of the unit he’d moved to, quoting that he was a witness in an ongoing murder investigation.

 

Gibbs hadn’t gone home, he’d taken himself straight out of the city and into the suburbs. The Spinal Injury Rehabilitation Unit was fairly easily found. It was an impressive, sprawling single storey building set in its own well-established grounds and he sort of wondered why he’d never noticed it there before.

 

The woman on the reception desk had looked at him with an analytical frown when he’d asked to visit Xander. He hadn’t even demanded it in his ‘Boss voice’ as Abby called it. She’d been reluctant at first, so he’d flashed his badge and once again abused his position. Jethro didn’t care, some things were more important.

 

 

It had been two weeks since Xander had sent Tony away after having let him believe that he had been using him. Xander was miserable. The first few nights he’d cried himself to sleep, then he’d run out of tears and settled on just sitting staring out of the window. He was eager for the fall weather to close in so that it would match his miserable mood. He was sullen, he knew that, but he just couldn’t bring himself to make conversation with people. It wasn’t that he was outright rude; he just limited his responses and didn’t bother trying to build relationships.

 

The days were spent doing the exercises he was given and meeting with the various specialists. There was a routine, rules and stages, things that were expected of him. One of the assistants had decided that he hadn’t dealt with his injury and that was why he was so compliant. He’d told her rather succinctly that he’d dealt and just didn’t care. It was true.

 

He was sat in his wheelchair staring out of the window when a familiar scent caught his attention. Xander turned his head to look at the man that was stood looming in his doorway.

 

“I’m not sure if it’s a comfort that you’re obviously as miserable as Tony is or not,” Gibbs told him as he entered the room without being invited.

 

The door was pushed closed with a click; this wasn’t really a conversation he wanted people overhearing.

 

“I’m not in the mood for visitors,” Xander said, feeling bad that he’d hurt Tony, but not about to admit it or regret it.

 

“You wanna tell me what happened?” Jethro asked as he sat down.

 

“Would it matter if I said no?”

 

Gibbs snorted. “I look like the kinda guy that regularly takes no for an answer?”

 

“Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

 

Blue eyes studied him carefully. “He’s hardly eating and sleeping, the boss won’t ok him to come back to work because he looks a mess. He’s lost weight.”

 

“Shouldn’t you be asking him?”

 

“Y’think I haven’t tried?” Gibbs told him, frustrated. “He’s pulled so far away from me he hardly says a word.”

 

Xander closed his eyes against a flash of pain, it didn’t sound like the Tony he knew. He made himself open them again though, made himself meet the intense gaze.

 

“It wasn’t meant to be like that,” he admitted quietly.

 

“What wasn’t?” Gibbs asked, slightly confused.

 

“I,” Xander hesitated, idly wondering if Gibbs would hit him when he told him. “When I told him I was being moved. I told him not to visit me.”

 

His confusion grew, that didn’t make sense. “Why would you tell him that? I thought you two were friends?”

 

“We were.” It hurt him to admit that, Tony probably hated him now. He couldn’t miss the questioning look on the other man’s face and he finally realised why the man was so good at his job. Special Agent Gibbs could interrogate you without hardly saying a word.

 

“You love him, he loves you…the two of you belong together, you fit. I told him I didn’t need him anymore and a bunch of other stuff so that he’d leave. I thought it was for the best all round,” Xander tried to explain.

 

Gibbs stared at him a moment and then he let out a short sharp laugh that wasn’t really filled with humour. “That’s the stupidest goddamn thing I ever heard. And I’ve heard some doozies.”

 

It was Xander’s turn to frown in confusion. It wasn’t the reaction that he’d been expecting unless Gibbs had completely misunderstood.

 

“He fell in love with you and it was pretty damn easy to see you fell in love too. I’ve only ever seen a person react to news that someone was shot like that when that someone was a loved one. And you broke off the friendship for what? You trying to be all noble and heroic?”

 

“Hey, I was trying to do the right thing so I didn’t mess up your relationship,” Xander protested.

 

“My relationship with Tony was safe, Xander. All you did was break his heart and that’s so ironic it’s not even funny.”

 

“But…you’re not angry with me?” Xander asked.

 

Gibbs shook his head. “For falling in love with him? How the hell can I be? It’s Tony, you either love ‘im or you hate ‘im. For hurting him? I’m not sure whether to be angry or pity your sense of logic. Why the hell didn’t you just talk to him like an adult?” Jethro asked.

 

“I… it would have been the sensible thing to do, wouldn’t it? I’m not really the type that does sensible, you mighta noticed.” Xander’s lips lifted slightly in a not-quite smile.

 

“Yeah, I’m getting that.”

 

“He’s really miserable?” Xander asked a mix of worry and awe that someone could actually feel that way over him.

 

“If a mood could make it rain then we’d be having flash flooding,” Gibbs elaborated.

 

“God, I didn’t mean to hurt him. I’m such an idiot. I thought he’d just get over it,” Xander pushed a hand through his shaggy brunette hair.

 

“Well, he hasn’t.”

 

They sat in silence a moment.

 

“C’mon,” Gibbs said as he got to his feet and a gesture.

 

“Where?” Xander asked even as he wheeled himself around the bed.

 

“I’ll take you to him and you two numskulls can talk things through. Hopefully normal service can be resumed,” Jethro told him.

 

 

They never spoke all the way to the car, not even when Xander paused at the reception desk to sign the ‘out’ book. It was only when they were seated in the car and Gibbs was starting the engine that Xan finally spoke again.

 

“I don’t understand,” Xander said as they started leaving the grounds.

 

Gibbs glanced at him. “Tony’s my boy. You know what I mean by that?”

 

The brunette studied the side of the man’s face as he concentrated on the road. He knew a nod wouldn’t be enough right now, maybe that had been the plan? “Yeah.”

 

The man’s eyebrow flicked up without even turning to look his way.

 

Xander gave a soft sigh as he rested his head back against the headrest. “It means you’re his dom.”

 

“He tell you that or do you have experience of domination and submission?” Gibbs asked, keeping his voice even but interested.

 

“Experience. My ex, Spike, and I... we sort of dabbled but it was a difficult time with other stuff going on,” Xander said and then immediately could have kicked himself for it, he’d told himself he wasn’t going to name any of his friends to them.

 

Jethro nodded as he indicated and made a turn. He was working hard at driving within the legal limit in deference to the recovering injuries of the boy in his passenger seat.

 

“It didn’t work out?” he asked softly.

 

“He died.” The brunette’s voice was so quiet that Gibbs almost missed it.

 

“That’s rough,” Gibbs told him, he could identify with losing a loved one.

 

“Yeah.”

 

There was a lull in the conversation before Gibbs picked it back up again. “I never saw myself looking at the possibility of a polygamous relationship before. Not that I thought I’d have a problem sharing, just that it never really crossed my mind as something to be interested in.”

 

Xander swallowed. “Poly?” Oh, he knew what he meant but in this instance he wondered where Jethro was going with the subject.

 

“We don’t know each other very well, Xander, and I’m certainly not head over heels in love with you like Tony is. But, I find you attractive,” he paused and shot him a smile, “And I know that it’s mutual after your little…ramble.”

 

The brunette had the good grace to flush at the vague memory of the drug-induced babbling about how handsome Gibbs was. “Yeah,” he practically squeaked out.

 

Jethro chuckled, a smile tugging up one corner of his lips.

 

“I’m not about to slap a collar round your neck, but if you’re going to be with Tony then you’re also with me, that acceptable to you?” he asked.

 

“You mean…? I…” Xander’s cheeks felt hot and he focused on the other man’s face a moment. “You’re encouraging Tony and I?”

 

Gibbs shrugged one shoulder as he made another manoeuvre. “At the moment, Tony is my number one priority. I want what makes him happy. If I didn’t like you then we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I’d rather share him with someone who feels the same about him as I do than risk losing him altogether; because right now I don’t think either of us have him,” he explained.

 

Xander nodded. “I can handle being yours,” he said simply. His stomach flipped at the idea. Gibbs was strong, a worthy man to consider belonging to.

 

“Good,” Jethro said and flashed him a smile.

 

“I… the paralysis, it’s… I don’t know if I can even…y’know…it’s been two months and nothing.” Xander’s cheeks burned at the admission, he hoped that the other man understood because he really didn’t think he could spell it out.

 

Gibbs nodded his understanding. “We’ll deal with that when the time comes.”

 

Xander was surprised at the sympathy that was in his voice…no, it wasn’t sympathy, it was something else, like he really cared that Xan was worried about it.

 

“Ok.”

 

Another ten minutes past in relative silence and they were actually pulling into the drive Gibbs’ house when Xander spoke again. “You think he’ll actually want to see me?”

 

“He doesn’t get a choice,” Gibbs told him with a grin as he released his seat belt.

 

“I’ve no idea what to say.”

 

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” he told him simply and climbed out of the car to retrieve Xander’s wheelchair from the trunk.

 

“What if he hates me?” Xander asked as Gibbs opened the passenger side door and placed his wheelchair for him.

 

Jethro paused at that and moved closer to the young man, he was little more than a boy in his opinion, but then he himself had been in the marines at that age; he knew better than to judge a book by its cover. Crouching down, so they were eye level, he gently cupped Xander’s face. “He doesn’t hate you, if he did then he wouldn’t be so miserable. It will be fine but you have to make the first move to find that out. And it really can’t be worse than how things are right now, can it?”

 

Xander shook his head, his face was still a picture of misery but he knew the other man was right: if he didn’t try then he’d never know and nothing would change. He took a deep breath to steady himself and gave a nod of readiness. “Ok, lets do this.”

 

“Atta boy,” Gibbs smiled.

 

Xander felt his insides flip and thought he definitely could get used to that.

 

The transfer from car to chair was still a little shaky but he’d improved a lot since he’d been at the rehab unit and before long he was being pushed up the path to Gibbs’ front door. His insides were a jumbled mess of nervousness. Jethro told him to open the front door and then he manoeuvred him in over the threshold until he was sat in the warm hallway. Immediately, he was assaulted by the scent of overwhelming misery; it made him feel even worse because he knew that he had caused it.

 

Gibbs unnecessarily pointed towards the room where Tony was. Xander could already hear his heartbeat, but it wasn’t its usually soothing sound: it was sluggish as if it was representing his depression.

 

“I’m going to make coffee,” Jethro declared and headed for the kitchen.

 

Xander watched him go, feeling helpless, but he knew he had to do it by himself. Slowly, he wheeled himself towards the open doorway and turned into the room. His heart just about broke at the sight in front of him: Tony was rumpled and unkempt, not in the stylish way he’d managed to perfect, he was unshaven and looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks. Xan just about choked on the emotion that welled up in him.

 

“Oh god, Tony, I’m so sorry,” he said before he could check the words, his voice as pained as he felt.

 

Dull green eyes turned towards him and Xander realised belatedly that there was wetness on his own cheeks.

 

“Xander?” Tony frowned.

 

“Yeah,” he dared to push himself further into the room. “Gibbs came for me. Christ, I… Tony…” His eyes fell away unable to look at the pain he’d caused. “I’m such an idiot, I thought… it seemed like the right thing to do but I never really was one for the smart plans, and when I realised that I was feeling what I was feeling it just seemed unfair to you so I said what I said but I never meant it, I really didn’t.”

 

Tony blinked a couple of times. “You’re babbling,” he teased half-heartedly.

 

“I know, it gets worse when I’m nervous. I didn’t mean what I said, I didn’t want you to go away, I just…I realised how I felt and I didn’t want to risk upsetting the relationship you and Gibbs have, only…I seem to have done that anyway,” Xan explained and gave a small wave of his hand.

 

The older brunette turned and tilted his head slightly, a frown fixed on his face but his eyes looking slightly lighter. “What?” the question was undemanding but full of confusion and hurt.

 

“I fell in love with you,” he admitted, “I only realised after you got hurt. I was trying to do that stupid heroic self-sacrificing thing. Y’know, being all noble and bowing out of things.”

 

Tony snorted and the first signs of humour and the old Anthony DiNozzo started to reappear. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

 

“I’m sure I mentioned that I’m not one of the smarter types,” Xander’s lips flickered into an almost smile.

 

“Yeah, but there’s not smart and then there’s…” Tony shook his head, “Why the hell didn’t you just talk to me about it?”

 

“Gibbs. I didn’t want him making sausages out of my entrails, and besides that would have meant admitting how I felt and risking rejection and all those other non-noble things,” Xan felt his cheeks heat up in a blush. “I’m so sorry, please forgive me, I wanna be friends…well, actually more than that but if all I can get is friends than that’s more than cool, but then there’s Gibbs and his kinky threesomeness and… I just…miss you so much.”

 

“Gibbs and his what?” DiNozzo asked, as he was unable to hold back a small laugh.

 

“He told me that he’d be willing to share if it was what it took to make you happy, but that if you and I do then I’m also his…of course, that depends on whether you do the sharing thing…the kink thing really doesn’t bother me…and I’m shutting up now.”

 

“Have you been back on the morphine?” Tony asked him with a mock-suspicious look.

 

“N-uh, they hide the good stuff,” Xander pouted.

 

“Damn… no pouting; you know I’m powerless…” Tony protested.

 

Xander responded by upping the pout wattage to doom level until the other man actually whimpered. “Say you forgive me?”

 

“Fuck, Xan, alright, turn it off, I forgive you; you’re an idiot and crazy but I forgive you.”

 

The pout melted away and was replaced by a small triumphant smile. Tony breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“So…kinky threesomeness?” Tony asked, humour dancing in his eyes. “I could get behind that…or in front…”

 

“In between?” the ex-scoobie suggested.

 

The candid question was accompanied by a waggle of eyebrows and surprised a bark of laughter from Tony.

 

Gibbs waited a moment, and then took it as his cue to interrupt. Stepping into the room and bringing the aroma of freshly brewed coffee with him.

 

“Oh man, I think I might love you,” Xander commented at the sight of the coffee mug that was held out to him, and then he blushed furiously.

 

Jethro smirked and Tony chuckled.

 

“You’ve not tasted it yet,” Tony grinned.

 

Gibbs levelled him with a glare.

 

“I…I mean, you might want to keep the declaration to give it ‘after’ you’ve tasted it,” Tony back-peddled rapidly.

 

Blue eyes danced with laughter at the attempt.

 

Xander wasn’t really listening; he was deeply inhaling the scent from the cup, his eyes flaring green as he did so. Then he took a sip and hummed loudly in satisfaction.

 

“At least someone appreciates my coffee,” Gibbs said triumphantly, as he took a sip of his own.

 

Tony just stared at Xander as if he was some sort of traitor. It was truly unprecedented that anyone who wasn’t a marine liked Gibbs’ special blend of coffee. Then the memory of his confessions about Halloween-hell hit him and he rolled his eyes, it all made sense; Xander had been a soldier…or possibly a marine, for a night. However, if the Hyena spirit hadn’t skipped off when it should have then what was the betting that something of that marine had stuck around too.

 

“So, at what point is someone going to fill me in on the eye thing,” Gibbs asked.

 

Xander stalled in his coffee appreciation and his eyes skittered from Tony to his lover and back. The other brunette had an equally rabbit-in-headlights look.

 

“Well? I think I need to know what I’m getting into here,” Jethro prompted.

 

“It’s…pretty farfetched,” Xander told him reluctantly.

 

“More farfetched than brown eyes that turn a glowing green colour?” Gibbs asked simply. He sat on the couch and cradled his coffee mug.

 

“Um…yeah?” Xander replied, was it? He was fairly sure it was at least on an equal footing.

 

“You don’t sound so sure,” Gibbs told him.

 

“Well, er… I’m not sure, y’know on scales of 1 to 10 of weirdness and all that, they’re both kinda up there.”

 

Jethro was studying him carefully and it made Xander shift slightly uncomfortably.

 

“Why don’t you try me?” the ex-marine told him.

 

“Well, hmm, what are the chances that you believe in magic?” Xan asked.

 

Gibbs studied him carefully, “Hocus pocus or mumbo jumbo?”

 

Tony snorted out laughter and tried desperately to cover it with his hand but failed.

 

“Er…more mumbo jumbo,” the young man said after careful consideration.

 

A one shouldered shrug from Jethro and a hand wave indicating for him to carry on.

 

“Well, there were these Hyenas at the zoo, and on a school trip myself and a few classmates got between some mumbo jumbo and a zoo keeper that was trying to harness the Hyenas’ spirits for himself. A friend was able to reverse what had happened but I was left with the dormant spirit, unlike the others who were all fully released. The people who captured me, they did things that caused the dormant spirit to not just reawaken but integrate with my own,” Xander told him.

 

Gibbs was quiet for a long moment as he considered that information. “Hyenas are pack animals,” he said simply causing both the other two men to stare at him.

 

Xander nodded dumbly.

 

“And hierarchical,” Gibbs continued.

 

It was like standing and watching a train coming towards you, he could almost see where the thread of the conversation was going, but was powerless to find a way of heading it off.

 

“I assume the spirit reflects that?” the ex-marine asked, finally.

 

He squeezed his eyes closed. “Yeah, but…”

 

The older man’s eyebrow rose enquiringly.

 

Xander sighed. “The spirit was alpha, I’m not.”

 

Gibbs’ other eyebrow joined the first. “So it’s not going to be a problem here?” he asked, “in kinky threesomeness?” his lips quirked in a slightly teasing smirk.

 

A groan was pulled from his throat and Xander looked to Tony from help. The smirk on the handsome face told him he was on his own. His cheeks heated up and he wished he had a desk to bang his head on. “No, the spirit isn’t in charge, I am. And Xanders are used to being bottom of the pile…so-to-speak.”

 

A frown flickered across Jethro’s face but was quickly gone. “Good, anything else I need to know can wait. Pizza or Chinese?”

 

“Um…” Xander started hesitantly, the sudden change of topic completely throwing him for a moment. He looked at Tony, “Pizza?”

 

Tony grinned. “Sounds good to me, meat feast?”

 

“I could eat meat feast,” Xander confirmed, feeling a little more confident, a small smile finding its way to his face.

 

Gibbs was already getting to his feet and groaned, he was fairly sure the two of them would be the death of him.

 

*****

 

“She sounds like a complete idiot,” Tony told Xander as he munched happily on his slice of pizza. It was his response to what he’d been told about the therapist from the rehab unit.

 

“Understatement. I mean, sure there are people there who are all ‘oh my god my life is over now’ but that’s not me. Sure, it’s kinda unfair that I have to change my life but really I should be more pleased because I might actually get to have an old age or something now. Though knowing my lucky I’ll get hit by a bus next week,” he smirked.

 

Gibbs chuckled, “You sound worse than Tony. If there’s trouble to be had…”

 

“So not my fault,” the man in question started to protest.

 

“That so? Who opened the envelope containing the plague?”

 

Tony opened his mouth to protest.

 

“And then, while still recovering from aforementioned plague, decided that he would be the one to attempt to outrun a bomb blast?” Gibbs persisted, his eyebrow raised, enquiringly.

 

“Well…” Tony started to object.

 

Xander had already started laughing, he couldn’t help it: the idea that someone was worse than him was infinitely amusing.

 

“And lets not forget being drugged and kidnapped…” Gibbs persisted, the amusement evident in his tone.

 

“Ok Ok… enough of picking on the DiNozzo… I’m a trouble magnet, I think Xander gets the picture now,” Tony huffed, knowing that if he didn’t stop him then he would just carry on and on; there were enough instances to keep his lover going all night.

 

“Oh look… he can do his own version of the pout of doom,” Xan grinned, his laughter subsiding temporarily.

 

Tony rolled his eyes and his lips twitched up into a matching grin.

 

It was all relaxed and natural, like they’d been hanging out together for years. In ways, it was easier than it had ever been with the Scoobies: Xander didn’t feel like he constantly had to prove his worth.

 

“So, Tony told me you’re building a boat, that’s so cool, I’d love to see it. I used to work construction, mostly carpentry though. I was good at it too. But then things happened and I had to give it up,” Xander babbled at Gibbs.

 

A warm smile crossed Jethro’s face at the idea that they might have something in common. Without thinking he proudly replied, “She’s in the basement.”

 

“Oh,” And like someone had flipped a switch, Xander fell silent.

 

Tony glared daggers at his lover for a moment and the other man had the good grace to look apologetic.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think,” he apologised, knowing that Xander wouldn’t realise the significance or rarity of him actually doing so.

 

Xan gave a little shrug and started picking at the slice of pizza. “Don’t worry about it, I’ve barely got used to it myself yet. Don’t tread on eggshells, I’d hate that even more,” he told the other man.

 

“Anyway,” Tony cut in, “I’m not the only one who attracts trouble. Gibbs has as much of a thing for the femme fatale type as I have in the past,” he crowed trying to lighten the conversation once more.

 

Xander glanced at his watch not really seeing and had to look again.

 

“We keeping you from something important?” Gibbs asked, mildly sardonically.

 

“What?” Xan asked as he looked up from picking at his pizza slice.

 

Jethro nodded towards where he’d been looking and Xander followed his gaze. His cheeks tinged with a slight pinkness as he shook his head. “No. Just, we have a nine pm curfew and if you’re late they ban you from going out for two weeks…it’s like a prison sometimes, I swear.” It wasn’t a lie, even if it was being used as a cover for the action the sudden feeling of discomfort had caused.

 

It was ironic that earlier that day he wouldn’t have cared about having such privileges revoked, but now the idea of not being able to get out and spend time with Tony…and even Gibbs, was almost enough to make him hyperventilate.

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll smooth it out if we’re late. After all, they can’t punish you for something that’s not your fault,” Gibbs reassured him, but his intense blue eyes said a million other things about how he knew there was more to the frequent watch checking.

 

Xander nodded. “Ok,” he told him and then inhaled the slice he’d been picking at. “So, what other stories have you got about Tony?” he asked with mischief suddenly sparking in his eyes.

 

As Jethro smirked, Tony groaned.

 

“Well if you’re gonna start picking on me then I’m gonna go and make some normal peoples’ coffee,” Tony pouted and got to his feet.

 

It was easy to give the other man an affectionate smile as he looked up at him and Xander felt yet another twist in his stomach at what he’d almost thrown away.

 

 

“That was good,” Xan told them as he finished off his last mouthful of pizza. It had been a big one that should have done four or more people, but since it had been a while since he’d had food that wasn’t all carefully balanced and nutritionally counted he had polished off not just his own share but half the other two men’s as well.

 

Gibbs was giving him an indulgent smile and it made him feel ridiculously pleased. Xander was fairly sure that things could work with the three of them but it would be slow progress and he was still feeling fairly fragile about things.

 

“Time to get you back to the asylum,” Tony replied with a grin. Even with Gibbs driving they wouldn’t stand much chance of getting Xander back by his curfew. It annoyed him really; they were adults for god’s sake why the hell did they even need a curfew? At least they had the excuse of Xander being part of a federal investigation, but Tony suspected that they would only get to use that excuse once.

 

Xander paused as he started to wheel himself towards the hallway and turned to Tony, “I really am sorry for being such a prat,” he said with a wry smile.

 

“Yeah, well, you’re forgiven so long as you don’t let it happen again,” the older brunette told him fondly.

 

“Oh,” Xander’s brow creased, “hmm, well, I wouldn’t count on that,” he said with a cheeky grin.

 

“Someone care to tell me how I some how ended up with two brats?” Gibbs said from the doorway, his lips twisting up at the corner gave away his amusement though and softened his words.

 

“Nope,” Xan told him, “if you can’t figure it out, we’re not gonna tell ya,” he chuckled.

 

---

Chapter 6

 

The staff at the centre had wondered what had happened in a day to transform the sullen young man that they were used to Xander Harris being. He’d gone out for the evening and come back a completely different person in many respects; although some wondered if it had anything to do with the frequency of the visits from the handsome young man.

 

Of course, many of them weren’t sure which Xander they would rather have: the one who hardly said a word but did everything he was asked, or; the one that talked none-stop a mile a minute and who had lamer jokes than were found in Christmas crackers. He still did everything that was asked of him; actually, he did more than was asked and did it more eagerly than a kid who’d been told to be good or Santa wouldn’t come. Several of the other unit residents had complained that he was making them look bad. He’d told them no-offence, but he wanted to spend as little time as possible in the place as possible.

 

Just two short weeks later and his case manager was smiling at him, full of pride and no amount of surprise.

 

“Your progress has been beyond what anyone expected of you Xander, in fact you’re weeks ahead of your personal action plan. I had a meeting with a couple of my colleagues and we agreed that as a reward you can have a weekend at home,” she told him.

 

In all her time doing her job, she had never seen a person’s face fall at being told they could have a weekend out of the centre. She was confused by the way his mood had suddenly done a complete turn around.

 

“Thanks,” he told her and without giving her chance to say anything in response, he wheeled himself from the room.

 

It was only a couple of hours later that Tony turned up, he had a bag containing all manner of goodies and Xander had immediately felt his mood lift. He made out that the excitement was for the comics and twinkies that the other man had brought him when in actual fact they both knew it was all down to Tony’s presence.

 

“So, how’s it going? Do anything interesting today?” Tony asked as he pulled off his jacket and sat on the comfy chair in Xander’s room.

 

Xander was staring glumly at the X-men comic when Tony finally looked at him again.

 

“Hey, what’s up? They find something wrong?” he asked, suddenly concerned and moving quickly to grab hold of the younger man’s hand.

 

Shaking his head, Xander gave a little half shrug. “They said I can have a weekend home,” he told his friend.

 

“Well that’s great,” Tony burst out with an enthusiastic grin.

 

Sad brown eyes came up to meet Tony’s.

 

“It’s not great?” Tony asked in confusion.

 

“I don’t have a home, T-man, not much point in getting excited about the prospect of a weekend in a hotel, it’s just swapping one dull soulless room for another,” he explained.

 

“You know how we said that you would try not to be a prat anymore?” the older man asked.

 

Xander’s brow creased in confusion and nodded, not knowing where the question was leading.

 

“Well, you’re being a prat. You can come home to us; Gibbs will be thrilled to have both his brats in one place so he can keep an eye on us,” Tony told him, and the look on his face suggested that taking no for an answer wasn’t an option.

 

“Really?” Xander asked carefully. “You’re sure he wouldn’t mind?”

 

“You’re kidding, right? He’ll be happy to have you there, promise. Oh my god, it’ll be great. We can pig out on junk and watch movies then on the Saturday we can go shopping and get you much needed new clothes…oh…Abs can come, that’ll be great fun. I bet she’ll try and Goth you up,” Tony rambled with a grin on his face.

 

Xander started to relax and smiled; he was getting a weekend at home!

 

*****

 

Dr. Lewisham looked up at the whirlwind on wheels that entered her room spot on the turn of three pm. “Xander, you’re on time?” her voice was laced with a faint hint of amusement; it was the most Xan had ever managed to get out of her.

 

That was all it took and he was off in a stream of words that only key phrases could be picked out of.

 

“Someone’s in a good mood today,” she commented when he paused for breath.

 

And that set him off again talking about how he was off for the weekend and that they were going to have movies and shopping with a heap of junk food at suitable intervals. At ten to four her alarm went off to signal that they were nearing the end of the session and Xander stopped mid sentence.

 

“That was quick,” he commented as he checked his watch. “Wow.” Then he turned puppyish brown eyes on her. “I don’t suppose you’ll let me go early, it’s the weekend an’ all and I’ve not even packed a bag yet.”

 

She gave him a smile that looked rusty from lack of use and waved her hand. “You’re free to escape,” she told him. It was hardly a hardship for her. She wondered if listening back to the tape might actually give a clue about anything he’d said during the whole session.

 

Xander had noticed a distinct increase in his upper arm strength in particular and he was able to push himself from the room quicker than most would be able to; he suspected it was related to the Hyena upgrade. He didn’t want to risk that she would suddenly think of something to ask him or another reason why he should stay the last ten minutes so he beat a hasty retreat.

 

Those ten minutes were used well and he had a bag packed in record time. He was waiting in the reception area when Tony arrived to collect him at dead on four.

 

“Hey,” Xander told him with a soppy grin. He thought that the man had never looked so good as he did right then.

 

“Hey yourself, you ready to go?”

 

“Does the pope crap in the woods?” Xander asked, deliberately mixing it up; it had the desired effect and surprised a sudden bright laugh out of the other man.

 

He was smiling like a loon as he signed out and gave Tony’s cell phone number as a contact. He really had to get himself a new phone. He would have thought it wasn’t worth it when he’d lost all the contacts, with the exception of the few he had memorised for emergencies, but there was always Tony and Jethro, even Abby.

 

“You get to choose movies and what we eat,” Tony told him as he climbed in the car after stowing the wheelchair in the trunk.

 

Xander smiled at him. “Is it stupid that I’m looking forward to this so much when I’m gonna be sleeping on your couch?” he asked with a smirk.

 

“Not in the slightest, it’s a very comfy couch,” Tony quipped back.

 

The amused chuckle broke the tension that had started to build in Xander at the thought that he might be imposing. Suddenly, a hand was cupping his cheek and Tony was leaning in to kiss him with heart-stopping tenderness. It was slow and careful, it left Xander gasping for breath in a way that the most intensely passionate couldn’t.

 

“Wow, that was…” his voice trailed off as he realised that he couldn’t come up with an adjective to describe exactly what it was.

 

“Yeah,” Tony said, an almost smug look on his face as he settled his shades over his eyes and started the car.

 

*****

 

Tony’s phone rang and he looked at it like it had offended him. It was sitting on the coffee table just out of reach and the only way to answer it was to move. He was comfortable though, with Xander resting against his side. It just kept ringing despite the death glare. Before he could reluctantly nudge his couch mate so that he could move, Jethro was sweeping into the room and sweeping the phone up.

 

Xander’s eyes left the screen to look up at the older man, watching as his face turned serious while he was listening to the caller. A moment later he uttered a few words of reassurance and then covered the mouthpiece.

 

“It’s Callum,” he told Tony.

 

Resisting the urge to sigh, he planted a soft kiss on Xan’s temple and got to his feet to take the phone from his lover.

 

Xander watched as Tony left the room to take the call, closing the door behind him. “Should I pause it for him?” he asked the older man.

 

“It’s one of his kids from the Y,” Jethro told him as he sat down on the far end of the couch, “he’ll probably be a while.”

 

The brunette pulled his lower lip between his teeth and gave a small nod.

 

“Besides, he’s seen it at least half a dozen times,” Gibbs said with a slight smile.

 

“He never said,” Xan frowned.

 

The silver-haired man patted his lap and Xan looked from there up to meet the steady blue eyes that seemed to ask everything and yet nothing at the same time. A slight pink tinged his cheeks as he shifted on the couch, pulling his legs up and laying down with his head on Gibbs’ lap. It was strange how it instantly felt so right and the feeling only grew as the older man’s hand gently started to stroke his hair.

 

“It wouldn’t bother him,” Jethro said, “he likes movies, ya might have noticed,” he said softly as he settled back into the seat. “I’ve not seen it,” he said significantly.

 

Xander caught a hint that wasn’t actually there and quickly filled the other man in as to what he’d missed. Up to speed, they fell silent and then the gentle hand lulled him until his eyes started to fall closed.

 

When Tony returned almost an hour later, it was to find Xander fast asleep with his head resting on Gibbs’ thigh and his lover part watching the closing minutes of the movie and part looking down at the boy with fondness.

 

Jethro raised an eyebrow in silent question.

 

“He got kicked out of school, again,” Tony whispered and contentedly sat himself down on a cushion at his lover’s feet and rested against his leg.

 

The movie finished and Tony found himself being pulled towards sleep. He had to shake himself awake and stood up to retrieve bedding for their guest. He regretted that Xander would have to sleep on the couch because of the stairs and he pondered that, if it looked like things were definitely going to continue to develop the way they had been, they should probably look at a single storey house.

 

Carefully, Gibbs and Tony worked together to swap the former’s thigh for a pillow so that they wouldn’t disturb Xander. Then Tony gently laid the duvet over the top of hi before they crept out, switched the light off and headed up to bed.

 

*****

 

Xander awoke with a start as a scream of “Tony” was ripped from him. He pressed a hand against his chest and fought to bring his breathing back under control as his heart beat wildly. A moment later there was a thunder of footsteps on the stairs and Tony appeared in the dimly lit room.

 

“Xan?” he asked tentatively as he crossed to the couch.

 

“Bad dream,” Xan managed to gasp out.

 

Strong arms helped him sit up and then wrapped around him, pressing a warm solid body against him. Grounding him. He dialled up his hearing to focus on the soothing sound of Tony’s heartbeat and heard Jethro crossing the upstairs landing and descending; he was fairly sure it would have been silent to any normal ears.

 

“It’s ok, I got you, you’re safe,” Tony whispered, burying his lips in the soft brown hair to press a reassuring kiss there.

 

Xander’s breath hitched. “Wasn’t about me,” he replied just as softly.

 

Tony’s strong hand rubbed over his chest encouraging him to relax and it started to work its magic. “Wanna talk about it?”

 

“They took you,” he murmured as tears stabbed at the back of his eyes.

 

“Shh, it’s ok. I doubt they even know I exist, Xan. Besides, can you see anyone getting past Gibbs?” he said trying to lighten the young man’s mood.

 

He wrapped his hands over the one Tony had pressed to his chest and shook his head. Xander couldn’t bring himself to say that he doubted even Leroy Jethro Gibbs could stop these people. The scent of coffee drifting through the house distracted him though. It was all so familiar and he finally sagged against the other man and sighed. They were both here and they were fine.

 

They sat in silence for a few long minutes before Jethro appeared and held out a steaming mug to Xander and set down a cup for Tony on the coffee table. Gibbs didn’t say a word; he simply ruffled the younger brunette’s hair and then leaned in and pressed kisses to the top of both their heads. A silent message that didn’t need voicing: you’re fine, I take care of what’s mine and if you need me all you need to do is say. They were left alone again and Xan blew his coffee before taking a sip.

 

“I didn’t mean to wake him up, you think he’ll be mad?” Xander asked, slightly worried.

 

Tony gave a soft snort. “You’re kidding, right? The man can survive on around five hours a night, he’ll go do down and work on his boat, it’s as relaxing to him as sleep is.

 

Xan nodded. “You ok?”

 

“I’m fine, but I’m not gonna touch that tar he calls coffee or I’ll never get back to sleep,” he teased and kissed Xan’s head again as he shifted carefully to a more comfortable position that he could still hold him in but the other man could drink from his mug.

 

*****

 

Abby was like a force of nature when it came to shopping and no person had any right to be that bright and bouncy at nine-thirty on a Saturday morning, even without the interrupted night’s sleep they’d had. Xander and Tony had at least managed another few hours before having to get up for the time they’d arranged to meet her at. She was so damn excited about it all too.

 

For the first hour they blew threw store after store, she alternated pushing his chair with Tony and chattered at them constantly the whole time. The stores they visited were not Xander’s kind of thing and he was glad when they took a ‘no’ for an answer when it came to the that he’d rather not be seen dead in.

 

Finally, they reached the younger stores that held jeans and T-shirts that didn’t look a decade out of date. He’d already gathered a fair pile of things that he liked onto his lap, then he realised another problem: he’d have to try them on. He’d lost weight around his waist and the pants he’d owned before were too big now where as his shirts were too tight around his shoulders. He took a deep breath, remembering one of the earlier counselling sessions he’d had about not being afraid to ask for any help he needed.

 

“I’m gonna need some help…to try them on,” he admitted to Tony who was leaning on the back of his chair and looking at the T-shirt Abby was examining.

 

Gibbs was hovering nearby, close enough to have heard even though he was far enough away to be giving the ‘young ‘uns’ an appearance of space.

 

“Not a problem, you done gathering stuff?” Tony asked as his green eyes met the approaching Jethro’s blue.

 

Xander tried hard not to blush but it was a losing battle. “Done for now, they probably wouldn’t let me in the dressing rooms with anything more,” he replied as they started to move towards said dressing rooms; he only hoped they had a big enough one for his chair and the two men to fit in.

 

Tony and Gibbs had been wonderfully discreet as they’d taken him into the specially fitted out disabled cubicle. He wasn’t sure why he was so worried about it, it wasn’t like they weren’t heading towards a relationship…hell, it almost seemed like they were in one already and he’d blinked and missed the bit where they’d got there. He smiled at the thought, even though his cheeks still flushed with a hint of embarrassment as they helped him. He could manage his upper half just fine, but changing his jeans was a slightly more complicated manoeuvre.

 

Between the three of them they managed and even though it had taken nearly thirty minutes for him to try the clothes on, he felt like he was gaining more than just a new wardrobe from the experience. Xander was trusting them and they were taking care of him without asking for anything back in return. It made his eyes burn as he thought about the nature of what was developing between them. He remembered what Gibbs had said about how it was obvious that Tony loved Xander and that he loved him right back, it was rapidly becoming apparent though that he was falling for the older man too.

 

By the time they’d paid for the clothes that had made the grade, it was marching towards lunchtime.

 

“I could eat a horse,” Xander declared as he leaned back and smiled up at Gibbs who was now taking a turn at pushing him. He thought about how some of the people back at the unit had a problem with people pushing them, like it somehow impeded their personal space or ability to make choices. Xander had already decided he quite liked it, but maybe that was just down to the way that the two men and Abby did it; the way they talked to him like they were all family and had been forever.

 

“You’re always hungry enough to eat a horse. It’s a wonder they’re not extinct,” Tony teased back.

 

Xander straightened and smirked at him. “It’s on the approach to lunchtime,” he said and held up his watch arm for Gibbs to see, “see, it’s already gone past eleven fifteen. The crowds will start to pick up if we wait longer.” They’d had a good breakfast but that was several hours and many shops ago.

 

“He’s got a point,” Abby chipped in, “And I could use a soda.”

 

Tony laughed and Jethro’s lips tugged up at one side.

 

“Save the pleading, I’m already heading that way,” he told them.

 

 

“Three brats,” Gibbs was muttering so quietly only Xander could hear him.

 

He laughed at that and looked up at the older man, vulnerability in his brown eyes, “yeah, but you love us for it.”

 

“Yeah, I guess I’m a glutton for punishment,” Jethro responded with a fake put-upon sigh.

 

Xander laughed more as they arrived in the restaurant and made their way to a free table that would accommodate his wheelchair and not get in peoples’ way.

 

The drinks were easy enough to order, three coffees and one highly-caffeinated soda. The waitress handed them a menu each and the topic of conversation focused on food. Xander and Tony decided they couldn’t decide, it all sounded just too good. They were firmly debating that fact when Gibbs interrupted them.

 

“If you don’t decide then I’ll order you both salads,” Jethro told them with deceptive mildness, never looking up from his own menu.

 

“I’ll have the bacon double cheeseburger with fries and no pickle,” Xander said hurriedly.

 

“Me too,” Tony concurred and they both simultaneously folded their menus and set them down while glancing at Gibbs.

 

The devious SOB had a smirk tugging at his lips, but Xander couldn’t fault Jethro’s plan; the threat had worked after all.

 

“Well then that makes three,” Abby told them.

 

“Better watch you don’t put all that weight back on so you don’t fit in those new pants of yours,” Gibbs commented dryly as he folded his menu shut.

 

The conversation flowed freely both while they waited for their food and while they were eating. Tony teased Abby about her love life, or current lack of. And Xander grinned and chimed in every once in a while that at least she didn’t find herself dating demons. They’d clamoured for more details but Xander had told them it wasn’t the sort of conversation for where food was concerned; not that it bothered him, but they were new to the gross world-of-weird that was his dating history.

 

They were just over half way through when Tony’s phone rang. He looked at the display in confusion, not recognising the number, before flipping it open.

 

“DiNozzo?” he listened a moment, a frown creasing his forehead.

 

Xander would have listened in if it wouldn’t have meant the sounds of the rest of the mall crashing in too. However, it turned out he didn’t need to.

 

“Hang on, I’ll pass you to him,” Tony said and handed the phone off to Xander, “It’s a nurse from the unit.”

 

It was Xan’s turn to frown at that as he answered. He listened…and listened and the colour drained from his face.

 

“No, you did right to call me, thanks,” Xander said, his voice thick.

 

He turned his attention back to the table and the other three were staring at him in silence. It was Gibbs’ hand that rested on his arm and managed to break the words free from where they were stuck in his throat.

 

“They’ve found me,” he told them. “I…I didn’t think they would bother…but…” the fear was obvious in his eyes as he looked at them.

 

Without waiting for another word, Gibbs had signalled for the check, paid it and was carefully placing his jacket over Xander’s lap before starting to push him towards the parking lot.

 

“I’m sorry,” Xander said softly. The move with the jacket had confused him at first and then he realised that some time during the phone call he must have lost control of his bladder.

 

“Nothing to apologise for, Darlin’,” Gibbs told him quietly as they hurried their way towards his car.

 

“There’s plenty…” Xander started to protest but was cut off by Tony.

 

“I’ll take the bags ahead,” he said as he slipped the keys from Jethro’s pocket.

 

When they reached the car, Tony had not only stowed the bags of clothes in the trunk but had placed a blanket over the passenger seat. Wordlessly, but gingerly, Xander transferred himself into the car as Gibbs protected his embarrassment by making sure the jacket stayed put, seemingly uncaring if it got wet in the process.

 

Once they were all in the car, Jethro turned to look at them. “There’s no way Xander can go back to the unit and we have to assume they either know or will figure out that we can lead them to him,” he said and the occupants of the backseat nodded.

 

Xander just sat there feeling numb as he half-listened and half-zoned out, the memory of the nightmare reasserting itself.

 

“I know a place we’ll be safe. I’ll call Ziva to sort out collecting Xander’s things and Ducky to collect anything of ours of sentimental meaning.”

 

He was dully aware of how intense Gibbs could be when he took charge and he barely registered the phone calls that were made, from his brand new untraceable cell phone, to the rest of the team. All he was aware of was the increasing smell of urine, blushing he hit the button to lower the window. Arrangements apparently all made, Jethro soon had them heading towards somewhere he deemed as safe.

 

 

---

Chapter 7

 

Xander discovered that despite all trouble-magnet status, Tony was one hell of a strategist. He laid out a complicated plan that would get them to safety with the least chance of detection.

 

“I have money,” Xander piped up.

 

“If they’re as powerful as you say then they’ll be watching your accounts,” Gibbs protested; he knew because it was what he would do.

 

“Not these ones,” Xan said with a smirk and held up the three fake ID’s. Even Willow didn’t know about these.

 

Abby immediately snatched them from him to examine them. “Wow, they’re good, I mean, really good; they’d get past customs no problem,” she enthused.

 

Gibbs smirked, completely unfazed by the declaration. Xander had been only slightly worried, considering the situation they were in, that he’d be slapped in handcuffs of the non-fun kind. He’d cast the older man a brief nervous glance but upon seeing his face he had relaxed. If the situation was as bad as he thought then they were going to need his access to funds.

 

Driving by Abby’s apartment, they stopped a short while for Xander to clean up a bit and he changed into one of the new pairs of sweatpants they’d just bought. Then the three men swapped into her hearse and she took the keys to Gibbs’ car. The idea being that she would drive it to NCIS and park it there, anyone seeing it would assume that Gibbs and therefore probably Tony were either in the building or would have to return there. As she was the least likely to be associated with Xander, on her return to her lab she would start on setting up a contingency plan of new identities for them.

 

“Cell phones off,” Xander told them and the two men obeyed without question, going so far as to remove the batteries to prevent them being remotely turned on.

 

Of course, Abby’s hearse didn’t have GPS, which was part of the reason they’d taken it instead of one of the NCIS fleet cars. All the same, they couldn’t run the risk of being spotted in something that would link them to Abby. So, the next part of the plan was put into action.

 

They drove up to Rockville in the north west of Washington; it was far enough up that the assumption would be that it was direction they would continue heading in. They exchanged the car for a new one using some of Xander’s funds. It was only a few years old but was a real bargain because of the number of miles on the clock. They didn’t care about something like mileage; it would get them where they were going regardless of how far it had travelled before.

 

They pulled onto the road from the forecourt and continued north on small back roads, that were unlikely to have any kind of CCTV, until they were almost at Derwood. From there on they headed for the I270 and turning the car back south. They skirted a wide clockwise circuit around the city on the I495 and I95 until they were heading south again. The I95 took them past Richmond on onwards.

 

They drove for almost four hours; Xander suspected Gibbs would have driven faster if he wasn’t still recovering from a broken back. They were on barely-there roads as they neared the end of their journey in some kind of national park that came complete with incredibly remote cabins. He figured that, even with binoculars, you wouldn’t be able to see a neighbour waving at you; of course the trees helped with that seclusion.

 

The wooden cabin that they stopped in front of was something of a surprise to both Xander and Tony.

 

“No one knows I’ve got this place,” Gibbs explained. “Marine buddy gave me the deeds a few years ago.”

 

Xander nodded. “Remote enough,” he concluded as he waited for Tony to shake himself out of his stupor and bring his chair round from the trunk.

 

The cabin looked in fairly good condition from the outside, large enough for the three of them and maybe a bunch of others too. He suspected that it was Gibbs’ skills with woodworking that kept the place looking so good. Finally, his door opened and broke him from his external inspection and he hoisted himself over onto the chair, glad that the entry porch was level with the dirt road.

 

Inside, the place was equally neat and well maintained. Gibbs quickly set about starting the wood burner and Tony went to make coffee, leaving Xander to settle himself on the couch. He gave a sigh of relief as he brought his legs up and stretched out, it was good to work the kinks out after being in one position for so long; he’d sit up when he had a hot coffee to hold in his hands.

 

Xander had been surprised that the cabin had an electric shower with running water. It was good to get clean after his accident back at the mall, even though he’d had the cursory clean up at Abby’s he’d still felt dirty. The thought of it still mortified him, he was just glad that Gibbs had a chair that he was able to use in the shower.

 

Feeling better once he was properly clean, and wearing a pair of the older man’s sweatpants while his were washed, Xander was able to think more clearly about what needed to be done. After Tony had helped him settle back on the couch, he reached forward and picked up his cell phone. Looking at it in his hand he weighed it thoughtfully, he was surprised they could even get a signal out where they were; but apparently they could. Slowly, he dialled a number that he’d memorised a couple of years ago.

 

“Who you calling?” Tony asked as he sat down beside him.

 

Xan’s finger hovered over the ‘call’ button as he looked up at the other man. “The one person that I’m least likely to ever go to for help,” he said with a wry smile.

 

He watched the other brunette frown in confusion and he leaned into his side and hit the call button without elaborating.

 

It rang three times before it was answered.

 

“Angel Investigations, we help the hopeless,” stated an almost exasperated, and all too familiar, British voice.

 

Xander blinked and pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it a moment, before hitting disconnect like it had done something to offend him. Spike? His mind whirled. It couldn’t be…could it? No, Spike was dead; it had to be some kind of auditory illusion. Or maybe Wes had been practicing his ‘Mockney’. Shaking his head and resolutely ignoring the concerned look he was getting from Tony, he hit call again.

 

Two rings. “Angel Investigations, we help the hopeless,” the voice said again, ever so slightly more frustrated by the intrusion.

 

As if burned, Xander hit the disconnect button instantly.

 

“What is it, Xan?” Tony finally answered.

 

“Spike,” he said on a whispered breath.

 

“Spike? The ex? The one who died?” confusion coloured the other man’s tone that reflected some of what Xander was feeling.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“But…you said he died,” it was all confusion and not a shred of accusation.

 

“He did,” Xander said, almost distracted as he stared at the phone.

 

“So, if he’s dead, how’s he answering a phone?”

 

‘The ten billion dollar question,’ thought Xander. Then his lips twisted up slightly, half smirk and wry smile. “I guess he got better,” he told him, glancing up into Tony’s green eyes.

 

Tony was still shaking off the confusion he felt when Xander hit the call button again.

 

It answered on the first ring and, “Look if you’re not bloody going to say anything why the hell do you keep ringing?” the snappy voice demanded in his ear.

 

“Spike,” Xander stated as if it was the first realisation all over again.

 

There was a pause filled with silence. “Xander?” the confused vampire asked softly.

 

“The one and only,” he tried to quip but it fell flat. “Thanks for letting me know you’re not dead,” he tried not to sound bitter but couldn’t quite manage it. A gentle hand wrapped around his free hand and squeezed lightly. He looked up at Tony gratefully.

 

“Was complicated,” Spike hedged.

 

“Yeah, I can imagine,” he said as he closed his eyes against the onslaught of remembered pain from that first couple of years after he’d lost his blond menace. “I need to speak to Angel,” he told him.

 

“Pet…” Spike started.

 

The response was a low growl. “You don’t have the right to call me that anymore,” he told him darkly.

 

Tony responded by squeezing his hand again and rubbing his thumb over the back of it.

 

There was no reply but Xander could hear Spike cover the mouthpiece and shout for Angel. A moment later the smooth familiar baritone of the long-suffering older vampire filled his ear and, surprisingly, he found it calming.

 

“Xander?” There was concern in Angel’s voice; there was no getting away from it.

 

“I need your help,” Xander told him without preamble.

 

“Not that I’m refusing, but wouldn’t you be better calling Giles?” the confused vampire asked.

 

“No. I need your help,” he repeated but emphasised the relevant word.

 

“I don’t understand. Why me? I’d have thought I’d be the last person you’d ask for help.”

 

“That’s exactly why I’m asking. No one would ever expect me to come to you, and that’s what I need right now. Can you come?” Xander asked.

 

“Sure, where are you?” a stunned Angel asked.

 

“Virginia,” he said with a half-smirk and squeezed Tony’s hand back.

 

“Xander, we’re in Kansas.” There was a heavy sigh and Xan could almost see the man composing himself. “If we take turns driving and sleep as we go, it should take us… well…ordinarily around twenty hours, but with Spike’s driving maybe sixteen?”

 

“Good, that’s good,” he nodded even though they couldn’t see him. “It’s important or I wouldn’t ask.”

 

There was a pause, followed by, “Yeah, I know.”

 

“Head for Chesapeake and call me on this number when you get close. Please don’t tell anyone you’ve spoken to me.” Xander barely recognised the pleading in his own voice.

 

“You have my word,” Angel told him, solemnly.

 

“Ok, I’ll speak to you soon. And Angel…thank you,” he hung up before the other man could reply and turned his face into Tony’s shoulder.

 

“Sixteen hours or so, with Spike’s driving…providing they don’t get locked up for every traffic violation in the book,” Xander told him feeling a mixture of relief and dread.

 

Jethro appeared then and looked at them for long moments without saying a word. Tony had an arm wrapped around Xander’s shoulders and his other hand came up to gently stroke his cheek.

 

“I need to go and fetch more wood,” Gibbs told them, eventually, “We’ve enough groceries for a few days, nothing fresh but tins and the like but the wood is running really low.”

 

Xander looked up at him and nodded, he knew his eyes were reflecting his emotional turmoil right now but there was nothing that he could do to try and cover it up.

 

“I’ll be as quick as I can,” he told them and stepped forward to kiss them both on the top of the head.

 

*****

 

When Gibbs carried the stacks of firewood in, Xander was asleep with his head pillowed in Tony’s lap. He gave them a fond look and dusted himself down before heading to the small kitchen.

 

It wasn’t long until the smell of coffee once again filled the cabin making Xander’s nose twitch even in his sleep. He slowly came to wakefulness with a smile as he became more aware of the hand that was gently stroking his hair.

 

“Hey sleepy head, thanks for joining us,” Tony said with a soft smile as he looked down at him.

 

“Hey, sorry, guess I was more tired than I thought,” his eyes drifted around the living space and noticed the new pile of wood and smiled. “Looks like Gibbs has been busy.”

 

“Yeah, I think it was a substitute, he’d rather have been sanding his boat,” Tony grinned, “it’s therapy for him.”

 

A guilty look flashed over Xander’s face before he could stop it.

 

“Hey now, none of that…” Tony told him gently, as he lightly tugged on a soft curl of hair.

 

“I can’t help it, it’s my fault you guys have been pulled into this.”

 

“We’re big boys,” Jethro interrupted as he entered the room with three mugs of steaming coffee, “and we’ve been in worse situations; ain’t that right, DiNozzo?”

 

“Sure is, Boss,” Tony grinned up at his lover.

 

The change in dynamic was subtle but still obvious to Xander: they were talking work rather than personal life. Just like that, it was gone though, and Gibbs was helping him to sit up and placing a mug in his hand.

 

“Ok, I get it, you’re capable of getting yourself in shit without my help,” he gave them both a grateful, meaningful look, “but this is on a whole other level.”

 

Before either of them could reply, his eyes flared green and he focused his hearing on what had alerted his other senses.

 

“A car’s coming,” he told them before it was close enough for them to hear it.

 

“It’ll be Abby with our things. I called her while you were asleep,” Tony reassured him.

 

The sound of a car door closing was followed by the opening and closing of another, then came the crunching of footsteps. Xander focused on the steady beat of the approaching person’s heart and smiled.

 

“You’re right,” he told him, just before there was a knock and the door opened.

 

“Hey guys,” Abby said with a smile as she placed three duffel bags down to the side of the door. “I borrowed Palmer’s car,” she explained and, after a moment of uncertain hesitation, she almost bounced across the room and hugged him.

 

Xander had seconds to hold his mug out of the way to prevent spillage as her arms were flung around his neck. He hugged her back with his free arm for a second before she was gone and hugging the others. He smiled at her; it turned out that Abby gave good huggage.

 

“They’ve been at HQ,” she told them anxiously, “They were sneaky bastards, apparently they fronted up, flashed some kind of ID and asked who was running the investigation into Sergeant Cameron Morgan. Of course, the poor woman on reception had no reason to think anything suspicious of it.” She rolled her eyes.

 

“Did you tell anyone what’s going on?”

 

“I’ve met with the Director and it’s been discussed, the four of us are being killed off.”

 

Xander’s mouth hung open as he watched her positively bouncing with excitement at the prospect. “God, I’m sorry,” he choked out.

 

Tony gave a shrug. “I’m not losing anything, everyone I care about is right here.”

 

“Same here,” Gibbs nodded.

 

Xander looked at Abby, she had family that cared about her; how could she be so pleased.

 

“I like adventures, she explained. Besides, I get to decide all our new identities and pasts. I have the power,” she grinned wickedly.

 

She was so chirpy Xander couldn’t help but wonder if she was covering her real feelings on the matter.

 

“This is my choice,” she told him seriously when she saw the look on Xander’s face, “they could have left me out of it but my life would have sucked without my three favourite guys. I’ll miss my family but they know my work can be dangerous and they have my brothers. I need you guys more than I need them.”

 

“It’s all fine,” Gibbs promised Xander.

 

The young man nodded, he could believe it when a man like Gibbs told him, but at the same time he knew they needed help and was glad that he’d had the courage to phone Angel.

 

“We still need a plan though on how it’s all going to work. I mean, we can easily set up the scenario of blowing us all up, but how do we get out?” Tony told them.

 

“We’ll have a way out,” Xander told them all before directing at Abby, “just get them to set up the explosion,”

 

They looked at him curiously but never asked him to elaborate.

 

“Has to be something they’ll see,” Tony interjected after a moment of silence. “We’ll get Xander to a property, fake safe-house, the three of us will come to visit. We can assume that they’ll be following Jet’s car in the hope we’ll lead them to you,”

 

“We can also assume they won’t want to make a move until we leave,” Gibbs cut in.

 

They all nodded in agreement.

 

“They’ll see you answer the door, as we’re waiting for you to answer we’ll have a mailman hand us a padded manila envelope to deliver. We’ll pass it to you as we come in. Minutes later and boom.”

 

“I kinda like boom,” Xander said with a slight grin, it all reminded him of plotting to blow up the school.

 

“Official report will say it was a letter bomb,” Gibbs said, “remains found inside identified as the four of us. We’ll have Ducky do the autopsy. He’s the only one I’d trust.”

 

Abby and Tony nodded. Xander only knew what he did about the man from what they’d all said, he’d never actually met him, but he sounded like a good guy.

 

“Ziva and McGee were brilliant,” Abby told them as she sat down and took a sip from Tony’s coffee mug. “They pretended that Ziva was a patient at the unit and McGee took her in a wheelchair, made nice with the receptionist while writing a note to them and then he left her while she went to gather Xan’s things. She climbed out the window, crossed the grounds, over a seven-foot fence to their waiting getaway car.” She told them gleefully. “Of course, that was after Ducky had stopped by your place and gathered some of your things. Ziva had this gleam in her eye; I think she enjoyed being all spy-like again.”

 

Gibbs’ lips were quirked in a smug smile of pride; he knew what his team were capable of, after all. Tony was openly laughing and even Xander had a grin on his face as it eased some of the tension.

 

“Sounds like the plot for the next Mission Impossible movie,” Tony grinned.

 

Xander laughed. “Oh great, my life just became a movie, I guess it’s unbelievable enough,” he snorted. “Throw in a couple of demons and a conspiracy theory and I think we’ll be on to something.”

 

“I should be heading back, it’s a long drive,” Abby told them. “I’m gonna need to be killed off after all this backwards and forwards,” she grinned at them to let them know she was just joking, and then promptly hugged them all again.

 

“Be careful, Abs,” Tony told her.

 

She gave them all a bright smile before heading back out to her borrowed car.

 

It was nine pm; the sun had long gone from the sky. The cabin was cosy but Xander was suddenly hit by a wave of boredom. He sighed and rested his head on Tony’s shoulder as they watched Gibbs cross to the bags and start to look through them.

 

“Here,” Jethro held up the shiny flat object. “Looks like they know you well enough,” he told Tony as he placed the laptop on the coffee table and went back to retrieve the cable and the case of DVD’s that he’d seen.

 

“Remind me to tell Abs that I love her,” Tony grinned.

 

Jethro sat with them a while before taking himself off to bed; but only after making Tony promise to wake him when he was ready to sleep so that he could take over the watch.

 

 

---

Chapter 8

 

As it turned out, neither Tony or Xander were feeling tired enough to sleep and they sat up watching movies until almost three in the morning. Xander had fallen asleep during Backdraft and Tony hadn’t wanted to wake him up to get him to bed, so he’d eased himself out and left him to sleep on the couch while he headed for the bedroom.

 

Minutes later, Jethro was easing himself under the sleeping young man’s head, pillowing his head on his lap with a book, his flask of coffee and his non-service weapon to hand.

 

 

The phone had rung at just before nine am and Gibbs had answered it, he didn’t explain who he was, just that Xander was asleep. Directions given, he hung up.

 

Half an hour later, the sound of a car engine and the crunch of wheels announced visitors. He knew he should wake the sleeping young man but he’d been awake on and off through the night and Gibbs thought he could use the sleep; he just couldn’t bring himself to disturb the now peaceful sleep.

 

As if taking the decision out of his hands, Tony appeared washed and dressed. He helped Gibbs slide out from under Xan’s head while he took his place. Fingers playing through the soft curls as he watched his lover go to the front door, gun in hand.

 

Cracking open the door, he watched in confusion as a blond man climbed out of the driver’s side and stretched while another man, wrapped in blanket, climbed out of the passenger side and dived for the porch. His finger twitched ever so slightly on the gun as the passenger reached the covered porch and stopped his mad dash. He pushed the blanket back and looked up.

 

Jethro looked into soulful dark brown eyes and a handsome face. He hadn’t been expecting that, and he also hadn’t been expecting those eyes to look so much older than the man’s apparent age.

 

“Xander didn’t warn you?” the man asked as he took in the look on his face.

 

Gibbs shook his head. “Nope, since I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’d say not. Jethro Gibbs, we spoke on the phone.”

 

“Angel and the blond is Spike,” the dark-haired man told him seriously.

 

Intense blue eyes immediately shot to the bleached-blond man who was swaggering casually up to meet them. He wanted to hate the man for the hurt he’d caused his boy, but it wasn’t his place to hold that grudge.

 

“Guess he did tell you about that,” Angel said with a barely-there wry smile.

 

“Yeah,” Gibbs replied flatly, “You better come in, Xander’s still sleeping, he had a rough night,” he told them.

 

Angel shed the blanket as they entered the cabin and tossed it to one side out of the way. Both his and Spike’s eyes immediately fell on the sleeping man, his head resting on the lap of another good-looking brunette. The vampire’s nostrils tickled at the hint of the relationship between the man stroking Xander’s hair and the man who’d let them in. One of the first things they noticed was the missing eye patch; but the thought was quickly dismissed as Gibbs directed them to sit down on the separate chairs.

 

“Tony,” the man whispered and indicated himself with his free hand.

 

Angel gave a nod and asked, “What’s going on? It sounded important and Xander would only come to me if things were really bad.”

 

“Tony and I are federal agents,” Gibbs started as he moved to perch slightly on the arm of the couch nearest his boy. “A couple of months ago, we were investigating a homicide, following a lead that took us to a warehouse, the only thing there was Xander.”

 

They all looked at the sleeping man with varying different expressions. Gibbs recognised the look on Tony’s face: if they’d have been ten minutes later then Xander would probably have died; the knowledge bothered him just as much.

 

“He’d been beaten severely and left for dead,” Tony told them softly and looked up quickly when he heard a growl coming from Spike. He frowned and watched as the dark-haired vampire reached across and rested a hand on his arm. “We were just in time.”

 

“Who’s responsible?” Spike asked darkly. “I’ll rip ‘em apart.”

 

“Xander’s been incredibly cagey about that. All he’s told us that they’re powerful and that he didn’t want to put us in danger. Unfortunately, whoever they are, they found out he wasn’t dead and they came looking, either to take him again or finish what they started,” Gibbs told him, his piercing blue gaze saying quite clearly that if he had the chance he’d be right beside Spike on that.

 

“I know Xander can be annoying, but why would anyone do that to him?” Angel asked quietly.

 

“Whelp’s always been more of a threat than given credit for. Look at all he’s done in the past,” Spike said fondly, not taking his eyes off the sleeping face.

 

Angel nodded, “True, there was the judge, the mayor…Angelus.”

 

There was a moment of silence.

 

“What I want to know is why the Scoobies didn’t tell us anything was wrong,” Angel spoke again.

 

Tony frowned and met the worried brown eyes. “Who are the scoobies?”

 

“He hasn’t told you?” Angel asked, his forehead creasing in concern.

 

“He’s told us bits…but nothing…no names, Spike’s was the only name we knew until he called you,” Tony replied, a mild accusation in his tone as he momentarily shot the blond a look.

 

Angel looked like he’d just been handed another piece of the puzzle.

 

“He mentioned they had government backing,” Tony told them, suddenly remembering some of what he’d said. “CIA level.”

 

“Fucking wankers!” Spike exploded.

 

“Spike!” Xander cried out, jerking awake as his eyes shot open and looked up into Tony’s face. He gave a sheepish smile, “Sorry.”

 

Tony grinned at his friend and would be lover and let his gaze shift to their guests.

 

Xander turned his head and followed the direction he was looking in. “Oh. It didn’t take you long to get here,” he said, confused.

 

“We let you sleep, it’s gone ten,” Tony told him with mild amusement.

 

“Oh,” he looked from Tony back to Spike and Angel. “Hey, thanks for coming.”

 

“Your friends were just telling us a bit of what’s happened,” Angel said, while resting a calming hand on Spike’s arm.

 

Xander squeezed his eyes shut a moment and then reopened them before nodding. “They took me in Texas. I’m still not even sure how long they had me for, but they underestimated me and I finally made a break for it when they let their guard down. I was out when they caught me. They decided to use me as an example for the others.”

 

“Why you?” Spike almost growled out; it was obvious he was still riled up.

 

Gibbs got to his feet, ruffled Xander’s hair and then disappeared into the kitchen to make more coffee.

 

Xander’s eyes met Angel’s. “You remember the Hyena spirit?” at the vampire’s nod he continued, “it was never really gone, it just sat dormant, these guys knew about me, knew stuff about what I’d been through. They were doing experiments to try and bring it out,” Xander fell silent a moment.

 

“Initiative?” Spike asked, fear and anger vying for dominance.

 

“No,” he shook his head, “Similar, but not…” he trailed off mid-sentence. There was a moment where something was tickling the back of his mind and then his eyes widened. “Oh…OH! Fuck. Remember the invisible girl?”

 

Angel’s brows knitted together. “The one that tried to kill Cordy?”

 

Xander nodded. “They took her, said they’d help her or something… remember that?”

 

The older vampire looked like he was considering the information very carefully and he wasn’t sure he liked where it was leading him.

 

“We need wards and we need them quickly,” Xander told them. “Can you do them?” he asked Angel pointedly.

 

Angel nodded. “Wouldn’t you be better getting Willow to do it?”

 

A sad look flittered across Xander’s face. “When was the last time you heard from them?” he asked simply.

 

The dark-haired man frowned. “About six months ago, I suppose, they needed some advice about a ritual involving a Ra’clangth.”

 

“Point made,” Xander said as his eyes dropped.

 

Angel shook his head. “What are you trying to say?”

 

“I was missing, Angel, gone for at least two months and probably a couple more. They didn’t call you to help look for me because they didn’t even realise that I needed looking for,” he told him as the two sets of brown eyes met.

 

“You were always so close,” Angel pointed out.

 

For some reason that surprised a snort out of Xander. “Yeah, but Sunnydale took care of that. Afterwards, we just weren’t the same. Anya was gone…Spike,” he paused, “was gone… We barely keep in touch. Still, I would have thought after no contact for three or four months they would have started to worry and rally the troops.”

 

Spike couldn’t bring himself to look at his ex: sure, he felt guilty, but Xander didn’t understand his reasons for not letting it be known he was alive. Still, he knew that the subject would be dealt with soon enough.

 

Angel gave a small sigh and a nod. “Good job I brought books and supplies. Spike, give me the ring and I’ll go get them from the car.”

 

A frown furrowed Xander’s brow as he watched Spike hand over a ring he’d been wearing. “Is that…?”

 

“Yup,” Spike said with a smirk.

 

“But Oz said he watched you destroy it,” Xander told Angel, confusion clear on his face and in his voice.

 

“I did. Apparently the translations were a little off and there was actually more than one,” Angel told him with a half-smile.

 

“How did you find it?” Xander continued to question as his confusion melted away to intrigue.

 

“Internet. Was on Ebay,” Spike smirked.

 

“What stupid idiot would put one of them on Ebay?” his tone was part disbelief and part disgust.

 

Tony had no idea what the hell they were talking about; he didn’t know what was special about the ring, it was pretty hideous.

 

“Harmony,” both Angel and Spike answered together.

 

“I guess I rest my case,” Xander sighed.

 

Angel was actually laughing as he headed outside to the car.

“So, cosy little arrangement you boys seem to have here then,” Spike said with a sniff as he looked from Xander to Tony and back again.

 

Xander’s anger flared. “You have no fucking right, so don’t even dare. Have you any idea how long it took me to even look at another person that way…four years that’s how long and I finally found something…people who care about me, Spike. So don’t you even go there. You have Angel, I have a right to have someone…two someones even.”

 

Spike looked like he’d been smacked around the face with something wet and nasty. “Four years?”

 

“Four…you can do the math, I’m sure,” Xan spat at him angrily. He’d still not moved from where he lay with his head in Tony’s lap.

 

“I…”

 

“You died, Spike,” Xander accused. “And as painful as that was, it’s nothing compared to finding out that you’re not dead and didn’t tell me. Was screwing Angel that much more preferable?”

 

“Wasn’t like that,” the bleached-blond replied almost sulkily.

 

“Then how exactly was it?” the anger was still evident in Xan’s voice.

 

“Came back as a ghost. Stupid amulet did something, sucked me into it or whatever. Then someone sent it to Angel at evil inc. And the next minute there I was…all ghostly. We couldn’t work out how to make me corporeal again and whenever I tried to leave LA I ended up right back in Angel’s building. Then someone sent this package that sort of went ‘poof’ and suddenly I was solid again. But then other stuff was happening, Angel was in the middle of his plot against the Black Thorn. And after all that crashed down around our ears…literally…well, Angel needed me.”

 

Xander’s anger hadn’t really eased, but he looked at the blond in confusion. “Huh?”

 

“The senior partners had to have a link to this plane, it came in the form of the Circle of the Black Thorn,” Angel’s voice cut in from where he stood near the front door. He set his supplies down and came back over. “No one knew who they were unless you were part of the circle too, so you couldn’t destroy them without being on the inside. They had me sign a clause just in case, they stupidly thought that by signing away my claim on turning human that I would some how not betray them.”

 

“So you went inside…which is why the others were always on about you turning all evil again,” Xander guessed.

 

Angel nodded. “Between us we took out the circle, but there were casualties and the senior partners were not happy.”

 

“When you say not happy…?”

 

“He means they sent hoards of demons after us. LA literally went to hell for the night. If it hadn’t been for ‘lyria…” Spike trailed off.

 

“Who’s Lyria?” Xander asked in confusion.

 

“He means Illyria, she and Spike became sort of close, she thought he was her pet,” Angel said, clearly amused by the idea. “You remember Fred?”

 

“The sweet, smart Southern girl that was going out with Wes?” Xander asked.

 

Angel nodded. “She,” he sucked in an unneeded breath, “she was infected by an old one called Illyria, it hollowed her out until she was just a shell and then took over. Her powers were incredible.”

 

Xander shivered and was grateful for Tony’s hand that came to rest on his chest. “I’ve heard of the old ones, there’s all kinds of stories in Africa.”

 

Spike nodded and cut in, “ ‘xcept a human body wasn’t designed to contain that much power, so we had to siphon some off before she went nuclear.”

 

“She could still kick your ass though,” Angel smirked.

 

“Yeah yeah,” Spike rolled his eyes. “Anyway, she built up enough energy some how, that in the middle of the fight, she was able to rip open a portal and suck them all in with her. Saved us and another apocalypse averted.”

 

“Must have been hard on Wes, losing her twice,” Xander said softly, knowing how it felt to lose Spike. His observation was met with silence and he looked from Angel to Spike and back again.

 

“Wes didn’t make it,” Angel said softly, “I think seeing him die was what gave Illyria the impetus to do what she did when she saw that we were losing. She felt grief and I don’t think she could handle it.”

 

Xander felt the wave of sadness wash over him. “I’m sorry, I know you were friends.”

 

Angel gave a nod of acknowledgement and started to gather his supplies. “What sort of wards did you have in mind?” he asked; back to business because he really didn’t want to think of all that he’d lost that night in Los Angeles.

 

“We need to ward against magical spying and also approaching with ill intent,” Xander nodded decisively.

 

He was starting to feel a building pain in his back and closed his eyes as he winced. It was then that the others seemed to stop in silence and Xander tuned his ears to the sound of the approaching car. He heard the two vampires start to move but he just smiled.

 

“Relax, it’s only Abby,” he told them.

 

His eyes were still closed so he didn’t see the way the other two looked at each other in puzzlement.

 

A few minutes later and the cabin door opened. Xander opened his eyes and turned his head to smile at the Goth girl.

 

Spike and Angel gasped as they saw the glowing green eyes.

 

“Err, pe…Xan, how…”

 

“It worked, didn’t it?” Angel guessed, “what they were doing to you, it worked.”

 

Xander nodded. “Yeah,” his eyes faded back to brown as he let his new abilities ease off: so that Tony’s comforting heartbeat wouldn’t distract him. “Fully integrated.”

 

Angel studied him. “So it’s not a threat?”

 

He knew, that if he had to, he could rely on Angel to do what he needed. He smiled at the man and shook his head. “No. But thank you,” Xander knew what Angel was thinking and he was glad that the other man wouldn’t give him the chance to do what he’d nearly done to Buffy all those years ago.

 

There was a husky impatient cough and Xander let his eyes swing across to the raven-haired girl. He grinned, “Hey, Abs. Tall, dark and broody is Angel and the annoying blond is Spike. Guys, this is Abby our resident genius.”

 

Gibbs chose that moment to finally appear with the much-needed coffee. He handed out mugs and set Xander’s down on the coffee table.

 

Xan smiled up at him almost sweetly. “I don’t suppose you could get me a couple of painkillers, please?” he asked.

 

Jethro could see the pain in the boy’s eyes and nodded. “Sure,” he replied and ruffled his hair again for good measure.

 

Spike snorted. “Lazy git, could’ve gone and got ‘em yourself. Ain’t like we’re gonna maul your friends.”

 

Xander felt Tony tense and was about to open his mouth to say something but was beaten to it by Abby. She moved right into Spike’s personal space and glared at him. “If I were you, I’d be very careful what you say,” she said darkly, “I know at least a dozen ways of making sure there’s nothing left of you when I’m done.”

 

Spike blinked and was about to laugh it off when she added the final punch. “I suppose you think that is for decoration,” her eyes flickered to the corner where Xander’s wheelchair was folded up out of the way.

 

They watched as both Spike and Angel looked and saw the chair and understanding registered clearly on their faces.

 

“Fuck,” Spike hissed as he looked back at Xan, “I didn’t…”

 

“No…you never do…” Xander said with only slight acidity. “But by the way, she means it, and you wouldn’t stand a chance against her.”

 

When Xander looked at Angel it was to see he was smirking behind his hot mug of coffee.

 

*****

 

Tony and Abby had helped Xander to sit up, and then had bracketed him on either side on the couch. He sipped his coffee and watched as Angel went through the spells that were needed to mask their position. Gibbs was perched on the arm of the couch again, keeping watch over them all; he’d barely said a word. Xander wondered what he was thinking but knew he wouldn’t get chance to ask, besides, he didn’t want to sound like a girl.

 

“I can protect the house,” Angel told them, “but the spell for individuals requires supplies I don’t have.”

 

“Such as?” it was Abby that asked, and all except Xander had looked at her in surprise.

 

Angel looked from Abby to Xander and back. “Amulets for a start off, something to which the spell can be attached,” he paused. “It’s that or tattoos.”

 

Xander gave a soft snort, he wouldn’t mind the tattoo but he wasn’t sure how Tony or Gibbs would feel about them. Of course, he was sure Abby would love the idea of a magical tattoo.

 

“So long as the amulets are inconspicuous and masculine for us three and Abby will probably go for the tat,” he said with a grin.

 

She grinned right back at him. “So long as it’ll go with the ones I already have.”

 

Xander couldn’t miss the way that Spike’s eyebrow quirked in interest. He would just love to see the reaction to the one that adorned her back.

 

“I know a place,” she declared, “it stocks most things. I was surprised actually, and they had quite a lot of voodoo stuff too. Not the stuff that’s associated with bad things and curses but the proper voodoo stuff. I sent some to my aunt in New Orleans for her birthday.”

 

“We’ll head out after I’ve finished these,” Angel told her. “I need silence to work, now,” he told them softly as he’d finished arranging the candles around the pentagram he’d drawn in the centre of the floor.

 

“Thought pentagrams were evil,” Tony whispered to Xander.

 

Xan smiled at him. “Only if they’re the wrong way up.”

 

They all fell silent as Angel went round and lit each candle one by one, and then he chanted a few lines in Latin. The marking on the floor flared white for a second, while the pile of crystals that were piled in the centre began to glow. A rush of cool air swept through the room and extinguished the flames.

 

They all continued to sit in silence until Angel looked up from where he was sat.

 

“One down,” he said with a smile as he collected up the crystals. “Want to help?” he asked Abby.

 

“Sure, what do we do?” she asked as she took a couple of the small warmly-glowing crystals from him.

 

“We bury them around the perimeter of the cabin and they prevent anyone with ill intent from entering,” he explained.

 

Abby smiled and bounced to her feet. Then she paused and frowned. “How are you…I mean, it’s the middle of the day, I thought you were…” she trailed off with a barely noticeable glance at Tony.

 

“What, Abs?” Tony asked curiously.

 

Xander swallowed hard, it was looking like the cat was about to jump screeching out of the bag and he wrapped his hand around Tony’s gently.

 

Angel looked at Xan like a deer caught in headlights.

 

“Yeah, it’s ok though - magic,” Angel explained as he saw the warning look on the youngest man’s face.

 

Unfortunately, Tony wasn’t just a fed, he was one of the best agents NCIS had and the answer only captured his interest more. “Why do you need magic to go out during the day?” then his eyes narrowed speculatively, “is this to do with the ring?”

 

Xan groaned and let his head fall back a moment before turning to look at Tony. “You trust me, right? I mean, you know that I would never do anything that would put any of us in danger, especially you?” Xander watched him carefully.

 

Tony nodded, “Of course.” The ‘but what’s that got to do with anything’ was clearly tagged on the end without being spoken.

 

“Spike and Angel are both good guys, they’ve saved the world a bunch of times and done lot of good stuff. But…well, they’re not human,” Xander said and waited for Tony to take that in.

 

Xander had tuned his hearing to the sound of Tony’s heartbeat and he heard it skip and then race. A moment later Tony’s eyes widened and a look of fearful realisation crossed his face. Xan tightened his hold on his hand.

 

“They have souls and everything, I’ve given them both a hard time about what they are in the past but…things change and I’ve grown up. Besides, what’s that they say about people in glass houses?” Xander hurried to try and explain.

 

“But they’re…?”

 

“Yeah, they are, but I’m not exactly fully human anymore, am I?”

 

“But you don’t… I mean…”

 

“They don’t kill, at least not good guys, they don’t feed from humans at all,” Xander could hear the racing heart and he cupped Tony’s face. “You might not trust them, and that’s ok because you don’t know them. But, trust me,” he told him.

 

Tony looked at him for a few minutes more before he nodded and let out a shuddering breath. “Abby knew?” he sounded slightly hurt.

 

Xan shrugged and gave a small smile. “Yeah, but she didn’t really believe it.”

 

Tony laughed, and just like that, the tension evaporated from the room.

 

*****

 

“How are you at portal spells?” Xander asked Angel as he came back in from placing the crystals.

 

Angel stopped in his tracks and looked at Xander with a frown. “I’ve only ever assisted with one. You’re not wanting to go to another dimension are you?” he asked worriedly.

 

“Oh god, no,” Xander almost choked. “I know how that can turn out,” he shuddered as he thought of the things Anya had once told him. “No, just between here and a house near DC…only problem is that I don’t know the precise location so it would have to be tied to an individual instead maybe.”

 

“Why would you need a portal?” Angel asked curiously.

 

Abby proceeded to explain the letter bomb plan to the two vampires at the same time confirming for the other three men what was going to happen.

 

Spike snorted. “Hope your wills are all up to date,” he told them with a smirk.

 

Xander looked around his new friends and shrugged, “We’ll sort it out later.”

 

Angel was looking at Spike like he hadn’t seen him before.

 

“What? Just being practical,” he sniffed and went back to examining his black nail polish.

 

“So, you’re thinking that a portal is the perfect way out?” Angel asked as he shook his head and turned his attention back to the pressing subject.

 

Xander nodded. “Seems the best way, it’s not like I can go climbing over walls.”

 

“If there’s something in the books then I should be able to do it, but it’ll take a lot of energy and I’ll not be able to do the amulets for a day or so after,” Angel told him, already picking up the book again and sitting down to start going through it, “I don’t have much in the way of magical reserves.”

 

“That’s ok, we’ve got the house covered and enough supplies to see us through. I assume you brought all you need?” he asked significantly.

 

“Yeah, didn’t know what we were driving into so we brought enough in case there were injuries,” Spike interjected, as he took one of the books from Angel.

 

Xander tilted his head slightly to look at Tony. “Got a pad and pen, Angel will need to make a list of supplies.”

 

“Oh, I packed one,” Abby bounced. “I know what Tony’s like for scribbling,” she said as she rooted through his bag and came up triumphant with the notepad before offering it to Angel. She proceeded to watch over his shoulder.

 

Abby’s mouth moved slowly before her brow creased. “What kind of language is that?”

 

Angel smiled up at her. “Not any that you would have ever heard of,” he told her.

 

“Probably either some kind of dead archaic language or else demonic,” Xander guessed and knew he was right when he received a smile from Angel. It was a weird kind of situation that they were not just being civil, but actually friendly.

 

******

 

Abby took Angel shopping for magic supplies while Tony and Gibbs stayed to play guard dog over Xander; making sure Spike behaved.

 

“So, what happened with your eye?” Spike asked as he sat back with a mug of blood.

 

Tony looked at Spike and then Xander in confusion. “There’s nothing wrong with his eye,” he told him.

 

Xander simply smirked and rested his head on Tony’s shoulder. “That’s sort of the point…there should be,” he told Tony.

 

“I don’t follow,” more confusion.

 

“Crazy preacher guy squished it just before Sunnydale fell,” Xander explained to Tony and Gibbs. The older man didn’t look like he was paying much attention but Xander knew that he’d be listening.

 

“Ouch,” Tony winced.

 

“I’d have guessed it was a side-affect of whatever those government guys did but if that were the case you wouldn’t need that,” he nodded towards the chair in the corner.

 

“Shaman in Africa. It was actually an accident and he apologised because he hadn’t intended it to happen,” Xan told him.

 

Spike snorted. “You and mojo,” he murmured. “What exactly was he trying to do?”

 

“Soul walk. They wouldn’t consider letting the mini-slayer go with me until I’d proven I was to be trusted. Was all quite surreal…and then damned painful,” he shuddered at the remembered pain.

 

The blond shook his head. “Dru was obsessed with them back in the sixties, was ridiculous, had to keep explaining to her that she didn’t have bloody soul. Course then she’d start her cryin’ again.”

 

“Dru’s Spike’s sire,” he explained to the other two men. “She’s a seer but more than a little barmy.”

 

“Had a thing for the whelp here too, her dark kitten,” Spike smirked.

 

Xander flushed and rolled his eyes. “To be fair that all happened because of that stupid love spell.”

 

“Oh this sounds good,” Tony grinned. “And completely fair since you got to hear all the dirt that Abby and Jethro have on me.”

 

The younger brunette shook his head and laughed. “My girlfriend dumped me, I asked a witch friend to help me do a love spell. But apparently you shouldn’t mess with love like that, especially combined with me being jinx boy when it comes to being involved in a spell. Every woman except Cordy suddenly found me irresistible.”

 

“And he was already a demon magnet,” Spike cut in.

 

“You should know,” Xan snarked back.

 

---

Chapter 9

 

 

“We’re not using a portal,” were the first words out of Abby’s mouth as she came back with Angel.

 

“We’re not?” Xander asked, confused. He’d have thought that maybe they couldn’t get the spell ingredients except Abby was looking far too bouncy for that.

 

“Portkey,” Abby squealed at him happily.

 

“A what key?” Gibbs asked.

 

Xander started laughing. “Oh god, Abs,” he gasped out amidst the giggles that were shaking him and making his cheeks and chest hurt. “We’re not in Harry Potter,” he broke the news as gently as he could.

 

Abby rolled her eyes. “I know that,” she smiled indulgently at him, “but we were talking about it and Angel thinks it’ll be safer and more accurate to spell an object that will transport us all back here. So, technically it’s a portkey.”

 

Tony laughed when he realised just what she was talking about. “Priceless.”

 

“Oh, and we didn’t go with amulets, they were far too obvious and gaudy. We went for something a little more subtle,” she told them as she sat down by Xander.

 

Angel was already going to work, while Spike heated them both some blood, and Gibbs took himself off to the kitchen to cook dinner for the four humans.

 

It was late by the time Angel had finished creating the ‘portkey’, as Abby would insist on calling it, and Xander was falling asleep where he sat. He started in surprise when Angel scooped him up and carried him into the bedroom that Gibbs and Tony had used the night before. Looking at him in surprise and confusion the younger man tilted his head as he was set down on the mattress.

 

“That was unexpected,” Xander told him.

 

Angel smirked. “This whole situation is. I’m glad you called though, I’m sorry we weren’t there to help sooner.”

 

“Some things are meant to be, you know that better than anyone,” Xan replied with a half-shrug.

 

“I suppose I do,” his lips twisted in a wry smirk. “They’re good men and I’m glad you have them. Spike…he thought he was doing the right thing and now things are…”

 

“It’s fine, I know how it can be,” Xander reassured him. “He said you were badly hurt in LA.”

 

“Took nearly a year to heal, he had to feed me. I’m not entirely sure why he decided I deserved it after the way I’d treated him when the roles were reversed.”

 

“Don’t start brooding now; you were doing so well, I heard you laugh four times this afternoon,” Xander teased.

 

Angel dutifully chuckled in response.

 

“You must be going for a record,” Xander told him smugly. Then it fell away before he spoke again. “I’m still hurt,” he declared, “by Spike…it took me so long to get over losing him… to then find out he was back so long.” He shook his head sadly and looked down at his hands. “But, as crazy as it sounds, I’m happy now and despite everything that’s going on I wouldn’t trade Tony and Jethro for anything. Besides, in a weird way, I think the two of you are meant to be, you just missed it for like… a century.”

 

The vampire gave a smirk. “We’ve been pretty oblivious that’s for sure. It was all Darla’s fault really. She’d told him I left him, and all those years he blamed me for leaving him to deal with her viciousness alone. Oh sure, I was brutal before the soul, but never to him. And then when I lost my soul, well… that was a whole other level of insanity. He hated me already by then and Angelus had kind of lost it with being trapped with a soul all those years.”

 

“I’ll happily blame Darla,” Xander said with a dark smile. “She really was quite the bitch. I know she was your sire, but…”

 

“It’s fine, I agree with you. Funny though, she was a pale imitation when she was doing the Master’s bidding in Sunnydale. I can’t fault her for her final sacrifice though,” Angel sighed.

 

Xander frowned. “You’ve lost me.”

 

“You never heard? Wolfram and Heart brought her back as part of a ploy to get her to bring me over to the dark side. Only, they didn’t realise she would come back human and with that she would still be suffering from the disease that was going to kill her. Think I was supposed to turn her; she certainly tried hard enough to get me to. I’d finally convinced her that dying as a human she would be absolved of the sins of the demon and be able to rest in death. W&H had other ideas though and brought Dru in. Of course, she had no qualms about turning her.”

 

“I’m following so far, I think. Still lost on the sacrifice bit.”

 

“The powers that be had plans, and when Darla had one last shot at making me lose my soul, she…well, I can’t really say she seduced me,” Angel smirked, “Because I was more than willing in the proceedings. I threw her out after, she had a monumental tantrum because my soul was still firmly in place. When she showed up seven months later she was heavily pregnant.”

 

Xander blinked. “S’cuse me? I’m fairly sure you just said that Darla…the vampire, who at that point was both your sire and your grandchilde, was pregnant?”

 

Angel couldn’t help but smile at the undeniably confused look on the human’s face. “She was. And weirdly, she actually grew to love it in the last couple of months. She went into labour but it was all going wrong. She realised the only way he would be born was if she was dust.”

 

“She staked herself,” Xander said with realisation.

 

The vampire nodded. “Of course, it all went to hell from there on, but that’s another bedtime story. I’ll show you a picture of my son, Connor, tomorrow.”

 

Xan was just a little worried by the calculating smirk that was on the normally broody man’s face. “Ok,” he said slightly warily.

 

“Night,” Angel said softly and left the room.

 

It was twenty minutes later that Gibbs and Tony came into the bedroom. Xander had managed to get out of his clothes and wriggle his way into bed. It had been long enough to give him plenty of chance to fret about spending the night in bed with the two men. He was nervous, it wasn’t really surprising, but he wanted this. Their relationship had been progressing at a painfully slow rate, partly in deference to his injuries and partly to his damaged heart. Now, though, he knew that Spike was well, if not exactly alive still; not that that was anything new. He could handle the idea of stepping up the pace with the other two, he was in no hurry to find out that he couldn’t perform sexually, but he knew he would still enjoy the intimacy of cuddling and smoochies.

 

“Abby has the second bedroom and the other two are sharing the fold out bed,” Gibbs told him, as he pulled his shirt off over his head.

 

Xander couldn’t work out where to look and his eyes flitted nervously back and forth between the two men’s faces and the way they were stripping down to shorts and t-shirt.

 

“You ok?” Tony asked as he sat on the edge of the bed. “If you’d rather…”

 

“No, I’m fine, this is fine. I’m just…it snuck up on me,” Xander told him quickly, smiling shyly at them.

 

“Well, didn’t expect Abby to be staying the night, we’re short on space. If you’re sure?” Gibbs’ ice blue eyes studied him for long moments as if measuring the sincerity of his declaration.

 

“I am. It’s not like we’re gonna do anything, not with the supersenses out in the living room,” he flushed a spectacular shade of pinky-red. “I mean…I’m not ready for that yet anyway.”

 

Tony smiled warmly at him as he slid in beside him and pulled him into his arms. “Middle or outside edge?”

 

Xander looked at Jethro, who was smiling affectionately at the two of them.

 

“Gibbs will be on the side nearest the door, he likes to be able to protect,” Tony told him quietly. “It’s up to you, I’m a cuddler and Gibbs has been known to a bit too.”

 

“Used to be,” Xan told him, “don’t have the movement now, so feel free to cuddle up to me.”

 

“Middle it is then,” Tony told him and kissed him fleetingly on the lips and cuddling in even more.

 

Gibbs chuckled and slid into bed on the opposite side to Tony. He leaned over Xander and kissed his boy on the lips. Just when the youngest of the three was starting to feel a little forgotten, Jethro broke the kiss and then carefully placed a tender kiss on his mouth.

 

Xan’s lips tingled at the softness of the touch and he gave a soft sigh as the kiss broke. His cheeks were hot, but he didn’t care; it had felt good. He gave them both a smile and wiggled his upperbody as if settling himself more comfortably.

 

“I could get used to this,” Xander declared as the light was turned out.

 

*****

Monday morning was slightly hectic as they all ate and prepared for the day ahead; all except Spike, who had grumbled about being woken so early before he disappeared into the bed that Abby had just vacated.

 

Angel checked over his spellwork one last time and deemed it good to go. Then the four humans were off to put the plan into action.

 

It was Abby that had received the location of the house they were to take Xander too and they went there first. It was left to Gibbs to make sure that they had got him settled in his chair ready and with something to occupy his mind with for the next couple of hours. Xander had the ‘portkey’ too and had memorised the activation word. He was full of fear and anxiety as he watched Abby, Tony and Jethro drive away in her borrowed car. He knew that when they came back it would be in Gibbs’ own vehicle. He just hoped that the people looking for him wouldn’t have a way of finding him before they came back to put the plan in action. That and he some how had to get his mind off the staged remains that were sitting in the kitchen.

 

Xander needn’t have worried: everything had gone according to plan so far, it would seem. He watched from behind the blind at the living room window as Jethro’s car pulled up and the three people climbed out. He’d already been watching the fake mailman delivering post around the street for the last ten minutes. His eyes flickered across the street and saw a suspicious black car pull up to the curb a good distance back from the others. He suppressed a shiver and reminded himself it was what they needed to happen.

 

The doorbell rang and he made his way to answer it. Following his instructions, he made sure he pulled the door open wide enough to make himself visible to anyone looking from that car. The mailman had done his bit and handed Gibbs the padded envelope; who in turn did his bit and handed it over to him. Xander smiled as they made small talk like they would if they hadn’t just seen each other a couple of hours ago and waved them all inside.

 

Opening the envelope and pressing the timer switch button, they continued to make small talk before Xander turned on the tape recording they’d made; just in case they had high-tech listening devices. Tony took the envelope, their ID wallets and the three NCIS employee’s cell phones into the kitchen and placed them on the table before returning to join the other three just as they were all taking hold of the backpack that was their ‘portkey’.

 

Everyone had a hand on it and Xander clearly stated the word, “Bathroom.”

 

A flash of bright light, a sickening lurch and they landed in a heap on the floor of the cabin they’d left earlier that morning. There was a moment of silence as they all looked at each other wide-eyed and then Xander pouted.

 

“What?” Tony asked, full of concern, wondering if the enormity of what had just happened was finally catching up with him or if the trip had hurt him.

 

“I didn’t get to see it go boom,” Xander explained.

 

That seemed to break the tension and they all started laughing, including Xander, which was followed by the explanation of blowing up his high school.

 

 

Fifteen minutes later and they were all sat around drinking coffee while feeling a distinct amount of anti-climax. They had no way of knowing if it had actually happened, if the bomb had gone off, or if it had been seen by the people that were after him. It was all a bit surreal, like it hadn’t actually happened at all. It was important, of course, that they remain out of communication. Not even Ducky was allowed to call and let them know the outcome and they had no TV to see what was going on.

 

Their wills had all been written up the night before and they’d been witnessed by those not named as beneficiaries; they had decided that it would be considered odd if they didn’t name the others. Abby had presented them to McGee that morning when they’d arrived at work. The man had looked at her confused but she’d simply given him a kiss on the cheek and a bone-crushing hug.

 

They’d been clever, they were fairly certain of that: Gibbs had left everything to Ducky, Tony had left everything to Gibbs while Abby had left some to each of the three men and some personal effects to her parents. The theory was, that since all three had been killed together, the wording would mean that everything would go to Ducky. Xander had been the only one to change that pattern, he’d left everything to Willow, Buffy and Dawn; not that there was much because most of his money was in the staged accounts that only he knew about.

 

“Still don’t know how they realised I wasn’t dead,” Xander mused as he sipped his coffee.

 

“Scoobie-net,” Spike suggested.

 

He was met by several confused frowns.

 

“Think about it, you die and the entire slayer network will know about it. Hell, there’ll be many in the demon world interested in finding that out,” the bleached-blond elaborated.

 

“So when news of my death wasn’t all over the place, they realised that I wasn’t dead?” Xander asked, then shook his head. “Christ their logic was flawed. I mean, if I’d died, NCIS would never have known who I was. My prints aren’t on file anywhere and the Scoobies probably wouldn’t even miss me until they didn’t hear from me at Christmas; I would’ve been cremated as John Doe. And that’s a depressing thought,” he concluded. “At least this way they can mourn me. You’ll have to make sure they know.”

 

Angel nodded his agreement, not needing to say anything; it wasn’t something he would look forward to doing, but he’d find a way because Xander deserved it.

 

“So,” Spike said with fake cheer, “Any idea where you’ll all go, what you’ll do now?”

 

“Oh,” Abby suddenly bounced up and across to her purse. “I almost forgot. I have our new IDs,” she said waving the four pieces of plastic triumphantly in the air.

 

“Please god, I hope you’ve given me a good name,” Tony murmured.

 

Gibbs smirked slightly, unconcerned, “Can’t get much worse than Leroy Jethro…gotta go a long way to beat that.”

 

“Man’s got a point,” Xander grinned at him. “C’mon, Abs, put us out of our misery.”

 

“Ok. Tony…” she held his card out to him along with an envelope. “I included a resume,” she explained, when he looked at her enquiringly.

 

“She’s nothing if not thorough,” he grinned as he took them. Looking at the card his eyebrow rose. “Dante Giovanni?”

 

She shrugged, “I know you’re used to undercover, but Xander and I aren’t, so I thought it best to keep initials that sounded alike for us, but was able to be a little more creative with yours,” she grinned, unrepentantly.

 

He opened the envelope and then looked at her. “You made me a Phys Ed teacher?”

 

She gave a little shrug and a ghost of a smile. “You’re good at sport and I know you enjoyed working at the Y. Most of all, it’s believable.”

 

“Bossman,” she said and handed over Gibbs envelope and ID.

 

“Guy Jeffries,” he raised an eyebrow at her but didn’t add anything further. There was a momentary pause while he opened the envelope.

 

“I couldn’t get away from you having a military background, sorry,” her smile suggested she wasn’t that sorry at all.

 

“So you made me a cop?” he asked in surprise.

 

“Well, it’s not that big a leap, right? I made you SWAT, it seemed to fit,” she grinned. “Decorated,” she chuckled.

 

“You retired me?” He almost sounded sulky at the thought as he read his retirement date.

 

“Couldn’t see you looking for a position in that line, too much of a come down after what you’re used to. Besides, you’ll get a pension like you deserve,” she stated.

 

“Something tells me that your tinkering goes further than a fake resume and new identity,” Xander acknowledged.

 

Abby adopted a look of innocence; they all knew it was a fraud.

 

“Ok…Xander,” she gave him his envelope.

 

“Zane Peters. How is Peters close to Harris?” he asked in confusion.

 

Abby grinned. “None of the ‘H’ surnames sounded right.”

 

He shook his head and opened his envelope. Xander stared at the piece of paper for a long time before he started laughing. “You made me a marine?” he laughed loudly.

 

Spike snickered and even Angel’s lips twitched as they remembered ‘army guy’ from that Halloween so many years ago. Abby obviously found it hilarious too; a moment later and Tony had caught the joke and started laughing along with them.

 

“Disabled out in a top secret black ops mission, hmm,” it made sense to have the cover and for it to be something that he couldn’t talk about.

 

“Figure you’ve fought on the frontline long enough to earn the pension that’ll go with it,” she told him with a glimpse of seriousness.

 

He gave her a grateful smile. “Thanks.”

 

“So, what about you, Abs?” Tony asked.

 

“Andie Sherraton at your service,” she declared as she flashed them an impish smile. “I couldn’t give up science,” she said and ducked her head. “So, I’ve left my options open with it a bit.”

 

“Any clue where we’re gonna go?” Gibbs asked as he put his feet up on the coffee table.

 

“How about Miami?” Xander asked. “Nice and sunny.” He glanced at the other three.

 

“Miami’s good for me,” Tony agreed with a brilliant smile.

 

“Close to water, suits me,” Gibbs nodded.

 

Abby shrugged, “I can handle the heat, be good to be back down South again.”

 

Xander grinned. “Miami it is then.”

 

 

~Fin~